Her Sister Is Pressuring Her To Be Her Surrogate, And She Has An Insane List Of Rules
People will often do practically anything for the ones they love, from a simple favor to a larger request. But this 28-year-old woman is being pressured to act as her sister’s surrogate by her whole family, and honestly, she’s having major second thoughts.
For some context, her sister, who is 33, has always been the favorite within their family. And while they haven’t gotten along throughout the years, she has managed to grow from their strife and not let it completely affect their relationship.
However, her sister has been trying to get pregnant for years and has suffered multiple miscarriages. That’s why her sister has been pestering her to act as a surrogate, and even her parents have been championing the idea.
“I feel bad for her, I really do. But for the last two years, she has been hounding me nonstop about this,” she noted.
So, eventually, she did agree to be a surrogate back in May. At the time, her own romantic relationship with her boyfriend was on the rocks, and she didn’t think that he wanted to propose or take the next step.
And even though she and her boyfriend had a 3-week trip to Japan planned, she actually thought he was going to break up with her. In other words, she didn’t know their relationship would last long enough for the surrogacy to even impact it.
Well, spoiler alert: the opposite actually happened, and her boyfriend wound up proposing! After he popped the question, they were able to work through some “major issues” in their relationship, and things between them have been great ever since.
She also told her now-fiancé about how she agreed to be her sister’s surrogate, and he said the choice was entirely up to her.
Yet, when she returned home and tried to share the happy news of her engagement with her own parents, they just prioritized her sister’s goal of starting a family rather than congratulating her.
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“When I told my parents about us being engaged, the first thing they did was comment about ‘How I already agreed to being a surrogate for my sister,’ not congratulations, not I am so happy for you,” she explained.
“My mom then lectured me on how everyone needs to make proper sacrifices for family and other things.”
On top of that, she had a conversation with her sister afterward to go over the surrogacy details, and she realized her sister had some extremely steep expectations that teetered on the line of absurdity.
First, she needed to relocate and move in with her sister, who lives 9 hours away. That would require both her and her fiancé to quit their jobs.
Not to mention, her sister claimed not to have enough room for her fiancé to live in her “six-bedroom McMansion.”
Next, she’d be expected to go on a rigorous diet, exercise, and meet specific hygiene requirements. Plus, she must live with her sister for six whole months after the baby is born to help nurse and play a “massive part” in raising the child so it doesn’t experience abandonment issues.
Finally, she would have to stop taking her ADHD medications, which she has been on ever since she was 8 years old. And the real icing on the cake? She’s forbidden from ever telling her sister’s baby that she’s the birth mother!
“There were a lot of other things pretty much implying that on top of all this, they will not be helping me financially for this entire process as it’s for family,” she added.
When talking with fellow surrogates about their experiences, and also the demanding scenario that she is in with her sister, many told her to run, implying that it was a terrible idea. Considering her sister’s already controlling nature, she feels doubtful about what she signed up for.
Nonetheless, when she tried explaining these worries to her parents and admitting that she was overwhelmed, they simply told her to grow up.
“My sister already bought me a ticket, and in 3 weeks, I am required to go have my first meeting with their fertility specialist. She says they hope they can start the process by September,” she vented.
Quite frankly, though, she doesn’t want to go through with it anymore. She’s just terrified of being disowned by her family if she refuses to be a surrogate at this point. So now, she’s not sure how to tell her loved ones the truth without losing them.
How does she back out of this process without letting down her family? Will they ever forgive her? What would you do in her shoes?
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