His Mom Called CPS On His Wife, And His Siblings Are Pushing Him To Forgive Her
Forgiveness is one thing. But when someone lies to Child Protective Services and puts your entire family at risk, it stops being about holding a grudge. It becomes about survival.
He tried to rebuild the relationship with his mom. He gave her chances, even when she hadn’t earned them. But after watching her weaponize his wife’s mental health and file false reports that could have torn their family apart, he drew a line.
And now, years later, his family wants him to just let it go, like it was all a misunderstanding, like none of it really happened.
But for him and his wife, it did. And he’s still trying to figure out why standing up for the people he loves makes him the one who needs to apologize.
Throughout his life, this man has had a rocky relationship with his mother. His mom sees things in black or white, no shades of grey, so she was always super loving or she ignored him completely; there was no in-between.
His mom ended up cheating on his dad right before he went off to college, and the man she picked was the pastor of their church.
He was so upset that he stopped speaking to his mom, and then he moved away 16 hours from home to go to college.
“She divorced my dad and married my former pastor, and neither of us spoke to each other until a couple of years later at Christmas,” he explained.
“I had to come to her; she’s never reached out to me. I stayed at college for another few years after we reconnected, but she still wouldn’t come out to see me, even though my dad took the time to drive out several times, making sure each of my five younger siblings got to see me.”
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“My mom said she couldn’t come to my college graduation even after I offered to pay for her flight. In the meantime, I had started dating a girl in college whom I really liked. After I graduated, I took a job back in my home state, and she came with me, leaving her family 16 hours behind.”
One year later, they tied the knot, and it appeared to him that his wife and mom were getting along. His wife actually told him that she liked his mom, and they did spend time together going out to eat or going shopping.
Then, when he and his wife welcomed their first child, things took a turn for the worse. His wife was hit hard with postpartum depression, and he failed to support her.
He turned to his family, complaining about his wife and dishing out intimate details regarding her mental health status that he wishes he had never divulged.
It took his wife six months to recover, and a year later, they had their second kid. His wife was worried about the postpartum depression rearing its ugly head, so her doctor put her on medication right after she gave birth.
“Again, I shared this information with my family, which I know now isn’t okay, but my mom started giving me a lot of grief,” he added.
“She said my wife shouldn’t be on medication, it was bad for her, bad for the baby (my wife was going to nurse). My mom was a nurse, so I assumed she knew what she was talking about, and this caused drama between me and my wife.”
“The last couple of months of her pregnancy were rough because I was adamant, based on the information I got, that she shouldn’t take medication.”
His wife took the medication regardless of his concerns, and she didn’t end up suffering from PPD, though she struggled with the physical aspect of bouncing back after having a baby.
Resentment began to build inside of him, as his wife was on the medication he was so opposed to. Additionally, his wife didn’t want to drive two hours round-trip to see his mom with the kids after they moved to a new house.
His wife argued that she couldn’t handle taking the two kids alone to see his mom throughout the week, and that it would wreck the sleep schedules of the kids being in the car for two hours.
So he helped his wife take the kids to see his mom several weekends, but his mom said she wanted his wife to come during the week.
“This caused more stress and drama and made me mad at my wife for seemingly not caring that she was ruining the relationship that I worked so hard to rebuild with my mom,” he said.
“This went on for about a year, when my wife got a call from CPS. They said they needed to conduct an investigation based on allegations that were made.”
“My siblings confirmed that my mom made the report and was also starting a smear campaign against my wife. When we met with the CPS worker, the allegations were outrageous. SOME of them were based on my wife’s PPD, which she only had with my first child, but others were flat-out lies.”
His mom told CPS they were locking their kids up and isolating them, which was not true. Sure, they weren’t able to take the kids to see his mom during the week, and they did have a playpen they put their youngest in while his wife did housework, but that was it.
It traumatized him and his wife to have to deal with CPS, and ultimately, the allegations against his wife were deemed to be false. They even had to get a lawyer, who said they should quit speaking to his mom completely, as that way they could shield themselves from retaliation.
Sadly, he’s come to see that his mom is narcissistic, which he always expected. He and his wife did do as their lawyer advised and cut contact with his mom before moving to a different state.
Prior to their last move, he called out his mom for lying to CPS and said she owed his wife an apology if she ever wanted to be invited back into their lives.
“She doubled down, saying she was ‘concerned’ and said my wife had problems and she would never apologize,” he continued.
“It’s now been seven years, and my mom hasn’t said a word. She sent her husband after me at a family wedding, telling me it’s ‘breaking her heart that I won’t contact her.’ I told him she hasn’t apologized to my wife, and his response is ‘Oh, we don’t care about that thing anymore.'”
“But my wife and I do! They have to be insane to think that we want people in our lives who could have had our children taken away! My siblings have been ganging up on me for years, saying that I need to be the ‘bigger person’ and apologize. I, on the other hand, can’t trust my mom and feel like she’s too unhinged to welcome back into our lives, especially since she can’t take any responsibility for lying.”
Do you think he’s a jerk?
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