She Gave Her Boyfriend An Ultimatum: Propose To Her This Year, Or She’s Dumping Him
What’s a girl to do when she can picture spending forever with her boyfriend, but it seems he’s not on the same page? For the last seven years, this woman has been dating her boyfriend, and they actually met back in college. When they started their relationship, they were young and didn’t consider the future.
A wedding felt so foreign and far away, especially since they were growing up together and navigating adulthood.
They were just having fun and going along for the ride, but now that they’re both 30, she can’t help but try to picture the future in a more serious way, now that she’s in a different decade of her life.
“Over the past three years, I’ve brought up marriage multiple times. At first, he said he wanted to wait until he finished grad school. I understood that,” she explained.
“Then it became about getting his career in order. He got a good job, but then it shifted again to wanting to travel more and enjoy our freedom before settling down.”
“Every time I asked when he thought we’d take the next step, it was always some vague answer. Soon. When things settle down. After the next promotion.”
A year ago, they took an incredible vacation, and she was convinced it was the perfect opportunity for him to get down on one knee.
She was disappointed when her boyfriend failed to propose, so she tried to talk about it a couple of weeks after their vacation ended.
Her boyfriend laughed at her and stated they had a ton of time to tie the knot, before adding marriage is merely ‘a formality.’
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She didn’t think it was humorous; she felt that her boyfriend was letting her down, and he most likely never would put a ring on it.
“So, a month ago, I sat him down and told him plainly that I needed clarity. I said I didn’t want to pressure him, but I also didn’t want to waste more years hoping he’ll change his mind,” she said.
“I told him I need to know that this is leading somewhere. I said if we aren’t engaged by the end of this year, I’m done. I can’t keep waiting while my life is on hold.”
“He said I was giving him an ultimatum and that it felt manipulative. He told me proposals should come from love, not pressure.”
She understands where her boyfriend is coming from, but her patience is wearing thin. She’s been by his side as he changed jobs, developed anxiety about money, and dealt with family problems.
She’s never put the pressure on him to give her a ring, but she can’t help but worry that he’s intentionally avoiding this next step in their relationship.
She doubts that her boyfriend will ever feel the need to get married to her. It’s not that she wants to push him; she just needs to know they share the same goals, and if not, that’s a significant issue.
“Some of my friends think I’m doing the right thing by drawing a line. Others think I’m being too aggressive and that I should be grateful he’s still committed, even if he isn’t proposing yet,” she continued.
“I’m feeling torn. I don’t want to leave, but I also don’t want to keep dragging this out and looking back years from now, wondering why I stayed.”
What advice do you have for her?
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