Being kind shouldn’t mean being stuck. She’s spent over a year rearranging her life for a coworker who somehow became everyone’s responsibility.
No gas money, no boundaries, no solutions; just endless small talk and the unspoken expectation to keep playing chauffeur because no one wants to be “the bad guy.”
But at a certain point, compassion starts to feel like enabling. And now she’s wondering: is it selfish to finally say no, or just long overdue?
This woman works in an area that’s quite rural and remote, so many of her coworkers live at least 20 to 40 minutes away from their job site.
A year and a half ago, she got a new coworker named May, who is 33 or 34, and May is unable to drive a car.
Originally, her boss made another one of her coworkers May’s designated driver to give May rides to work every single day.
However, that man developed a substance abuse issue and was fired from the company. From there, her boss expected the rest of her coworkers to step up and share the responsibility of getting May to and from work.
“The issue is – we’re all tired of it. It’s an extra 15 minutes each direction to pick her up/drop her off. The only incentive we get from work is an additional $1 a day for carpooling, so she never gives anyone gas money,” she explained.
“I’ve started to refuse to enter the rotation of people who give her rides to work because she does not stop talking for even a minute when she’s in my car.”
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“She also refuses to stop talking when I’m trying to drop her off and leave her house so I can get home! She holds everyone hostage socially, but is so nice about it that no one wants to say anything to her.”
Oh, and you know what makes the whole May thing even worse? One of her coworkers found out that May’s husband has plenty of time to drop May off before heading to his own job every morning, yet he doesn’t drive her.
Due to everything she outlined, she feels like it’s about time that she tells May to be responsible for her own transportation.
She’s curious if it would make her the jerk to confront May and tell her to expect her husband to get her to and from work, or perhaps figure out how to finally learn to drive a car.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
