He Found Out His Girlfriend Cheated On Her Ex, So He Wants To Leave Her Before She Does That To Him
What do social media, the allure of instant gratification, and the death of chivalry all have in common? They’ve arguably each contributed to a modern dating culture that makes infidelity seem inescapable.
This 40-year-old man is sick of it, too. He was cheated on by his ex-wife, has been surrounded by friends whose relationships perished due to affairs, and even his closest friend recently admitted to being unfaithful.
So, now that he recently found out his girlfriend actually cheated on her last boyfriend with a random guy in Las Vegas, he’s considering walking away.
For a bit of background on his life, he was previously married to his college sweetheart for 17 years. But that ended at the tail end of 2022 when she confessed to having an affair with a family friend.
“I didn’t handle it well at all. The only thing that kept me here was our daughter, whom we share fifty-fifty. So, I don’t have a lot of dating experience,” he said.
Then, following his split, he discovered that five of his closest friends (three men and two women) had been cheated on from 2022 to 2023. Some of them tried to stay and fix their relationships, while others chose to kick their partners out.
To him, it felt like infidelity was “definitely in the air.” Nonetheless, he decided to jump back into the dating pool and met multiple great women, all of whom came with their own sets of baggage.
“I walked away from some whom I wish I had stuck it out with, and others I ran faster than I thought possible,” he recalled.
That’s why, after his latest breakup, he opted to slow down and take a few months to reflect on his romantic journey.
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It was also around the same time that he learned a very close friend, who’d helped him through his own divorce for the last two years, was also a cheater. In fact, they’d cheated on their current partner a few different times.
He was honestly devastated by the news since he’d already ditched so many friends once he found out they were cheaters.
“I never thought the person I was confiding in the most was hiding their secret life all this time. I knew them for 16 years, and yet I was relying on a serial cheater for support,” he explained.
“My options were to walk away like I did everyone else or bend my rules to keep them in my life. I decided to keep them in my life.”
However, he started struggling with how his moral compass had changed. In the past, he’d always lived by a black-and-white code of “right” and “wrong.” But suddenly, he felt like his morals had become grey because he was choosing to look past and accept certain behaviors that he never would’ve tolerated before.
It wasn’t all bad, though. He also learned fresh lessons about boundaries, and earlier this year, he even began chatting with a brand-new woman (his current girlfriend), and they really hit it off.
Apparently, her own ex-boyfriend had cheated on her with someone in their friend group. So, they quickly realized that they had a lot in common and bonded over their past relationship traumas.
His girlfriend admitted to cheating on a boyfriend back when she was in her twenties as well. Yet, she seemed remorseful, and he was able to overlook the error in judgment at the time.
“Because we all make mistakes and no one in their forties is the same person as they were in their twenties,” he reasoned.
From there, he and his girlfriend’s kids began getting along very well, and they’ve continued going out on dates regularly. So, things were looking just peachy until last week, when they went on vacation together.
During the trip, his girlfriend got a bit too drunk one evening and confessed to something that truly shocked him: she’d cheated on her last boyfriend of three years with a random man she met at a music festival in Las Vegas.
His girlfriend wouldn’t go into further detail about her infidelity, but she discussed how she decided to “have her fun” in Vegas and lost a couple of friends over her actions.
“I don’t know if she cheated on her boyfriend to get back at him for cheating on her, or if she knew he was cheating on her at that moment. But I know they were trying to work through it, and they stayed together for another year before they broke up,” he noted.
Regardless, the revelation has left him quite shaken, and his girlfriend has noticed a change in him. Over the last few days, he’s been thinking about his old self, new self, and the “reality” of dating in his forties. He can’t believe that every single woman he’s dated since his divorce has cheated on him, some multiple times, or how so many of his friends have also been cheated on.
“It’s so prevalent, it’s so common, and I’m still relatively so new to dating again that I’m just not sure if there’s any point in walking away and trying to find someone else when the likelihood is still almost fifty-fifty that whoever else I find has also cheated on their past partners,” he vented.
This has left him wondering whether leaving his current relationship is worth it. Or, if he should just look past his girlfriend’s past infidelity and confront his own insecurities about getting stabbed in the back again.
Do you agree that cheating is a widespread issue today? Should he just accept that or search for someone who more closely aligns with his morals? What would you do?
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