His Wife Isn’t Speaking To Him After He Pointed Out Their Son Would Have No Memories If They Waited Around For Her To Be Free From Work
When one parent stays home to raise their child, and their spouse continues to work full-time, schedules are bound to conflict.
But does that mean the stay-at-home parent should wait around to make memories with their kid until their spouse is available, or will certain milestones inevitably be missed?
That’s the conundrum this 39-year-old man and his wife are currently arguing over. They have a 14-year-old son, and he’s been a stay-at-home dad for a long time now.
“The original plan was for me to start working again when our son went to kindergarten, but my wife was gunning for a promotion around that time and asked me to stay at home longer,” he recalled.
Then, once his wife received the promotion, her schedule only became more demanding because she began working extra hours.
That extended his time at home again, and today, he’s responsible for practically everything around the house. In fact, he cleans, cooks, does all the grocery shopping, and completes their yard work by himself.
But the one thing he’s grown more upset about is how “hands-off” his wife acts with their son. Apparently, she’s always too busy or too tired from work to show up to their son’s soccer games, visit their nearby amusement parks together, or just take him back-to-school shopping. That’s why he’s stopped trying to engage her in their activities.
“Why would I waste my breath to have the same conversations on repeat?” he asked.
However, more recently, he didn’t tell his wife about another activity (dyeing their son’s hair purple), and she was super upset that she missed out on making the memory with them.
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It was just last weekend when one of his good friends, who supposedly knew what they were doing, came over to help with the hair dyeing process; meanwhile, he assisted by fetching objects and fielding music requests.
“It was such a fun day, and I could tell how happy it made my boy,” he said.
He failed to tell his wife that they were dyeing his son’s hair, though, and afterward, she started crying. It turns out she was upset that he and his son were making so many memories without her.
In response, he asked what his wife expected them to do all day while they’re home. He also pointed out how, if they waited around for her to “make memories,” they’d spend all their time sitting in a dark room.
“My son isn’t even really comfortable with her anymore,” he revealed, “There is no, ‘I can’t take you, go ask your mom.’ Now it’s, ‘I’m sorry I can’t take you, let me see if my friend is free that day.'”
So, for him, their argument is much bigger than just the hair dye incident. His wife, on the other hand, is now giving him the cold shoulder.
He currently plans to join the workforce again after his son turns 16 and can transport himself to and from school.
Still, he doesn’t see how things will change with his wife since she refuses to decrease her hours, even after he gets a new job.
In his eyes, she’s not making the effort to compromise and spend more time with their son. And he hoped that being brutally honest with her about that would be a sort of wake-up call.
“I would’ve loved having more kids, but I guess it’s for the best now that she said no,” he vented.
Nonetheless, his wife not speaking to him has also pushed him to wonder whether he took it “too far” by saying he and his son wouldn’t have any memories if they waited around for her to show up.
Do you agree that he can’t pause their lives until his wife magically has some time for their son? What advice would you give him?
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