He Found Out That His Fiancée Secretly Racked Up $30,000 In Credit Card Debt Two Months Before Their Wedding

This 36-year-old guy and his fiancée, who's 35, have been together for five years and were supposed to tie the knot in just two months.

But after he recently proposed the idea of signing a prenup, he discovered that his fiancée had secretly racked up about $30,000 in credit card debt throughout their relationship. And now, he feels so deceived that he's actually considering calling off their wedding.

To give you some content on their relationship, he grew up in Quebec and was never dead-set on getting married or having kids. Then, he met his fiancée, who felt the opposite.

"And as the story usually goes, I was swayed and thought it might just be in the cards for us," he recalled.

Their age complicated his fiancée's dream of starting a family, though, and she even thought about freezing her eggs to ensure they wouldn't miss out on that opportunity. However, his fiancée was always insistent about tying the knot and buying a home before they had kids together.

When they initially met, he believed his fiancée was pretty financially responsible, too, mainly because she'd stored away enough money to pay for half of the down payment on their home, which they purchased two years ago. She also didn't have any debt and had previously worked with a financial advisor.

Nonetheless, he did start to notice some concerning patterns as their relationship progressed. His fiancée struggled with planning and organization, which she attributed to her ADHD, and supposedly tried to shift the responsibility of achieving her own goals onto others.

"Goal-setting has been the source of many arguments wherein I'd communicate that I felt alone in working towards achieving our common goals," he added.

Moreover, he earns approximately twice as much as his fiancée, meaning he's been covering most of their home expenses. This has included furniture and appliances, as well as a renovated backyard, which was finished just in time for his fiancée's bachelorette party next week.

Fotoluminate LLC - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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Eventually, his fiancée mentioned how she'd accumulated some debt as well, and he tried to be empathetic toward her situation. And since he didn't have any debt of his own, aside from their mortgage, he did not mind covering more bills so she could pay down her debt.

"I didn't think of questioning how bad the situation was because I'd been very open about my own situation and thought we were seeing eye-to-eye on the steps required to reach our goals," he reasoned.

Not to mention, his fiancée's family endured their fair share of financial problems due to her father's gambling addiction. So, she claimed to learn how important financial independence was early on.

Sadly, though, that didn't stop her from accumulating a ton of credit card debt in secret. And he only found out about the massive amount of money his fiancée owes after talking to his dad.

Apparently, his fiancée grew up Muslim but no longer practices, and since he is Christian, his future father-in-law doesn't exactly approve of their engagement. So, while speaking to his own father about the situation, his dad suggested that he consider getting a prenup to protect his own condo, which he acquired with the help of his parents two years before he even met his fiancée.

"I mulled it for a bit before bringing it up with my fiancée. She initially, understandably, felt offended at the request," he noted.

Yet, a few weeks later, after his fiancée did some research on the process and understood that they'd both have to "open up" about their finances, she decided to spill the beans about her secret debt.

More specifically, his fiancée revealed that she's in about $30,000 of credit card debt due to frivolous spending over the past five years. And to add another cherry on top, she's only been able to make the minimum payments on her debts.

Now, he's read about how, when you tie the knot with someone, you're supposed to become a team and consider personal debts as joint debts. But honestly, he just feels deceived, as if his fiancée was sabotaging her personal finances, all while he wholeheartedly believed they were working to build a future together.

"I feel betrayed and hurt. And I am completely dumbfounded at the level of financial irresponsibility," he vented.

"Part of me wants to call off the wedding until we sort this out. Part of me wants to renege on having kids with someone who has shown me to be unreliable in the eleventh hour and cannot take accountability for self-proclaimed wants."

As he grapples with the reality of his fiancée's finances, he genuinely doesn't know how they can move forward from this.

Could you proceed with marrying your partner if they hid the fact that they were drowning in debt from you for years? What advice would you give him?

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