Her Fiancé Got A Vasectomy Behind Her Back, So She Wants To Leave Him
It’s one thing to have differences in timing when it comes to starting a family; it’s another to discover that the person you’ve been with for nearly a decade secretly made sure it could never happen.
For her, having children wasn’t a casual possibility; it was the centerpiece of the future she thought they were building together.
Learning that the man she thought she would spend forever with took her dreams away from her made her see their relationship was built on a lie.
Now she’s left weighing not just her heartbreak, but whether she even has time to rebuild the life she planned.
For close to seven years now, this 37-year-old woman has been with her 39-year-old fiancé. She has forever pictured starting a family of her own and being a mom to one child, or more.
She let her fiancé know from the start that she wanted to be a parent, and he reassured her that he was aligned with her goals for the future.
“To be honest, we used to be a good match with almost everything, so I knew he was the one. Or so I thought, at least,” she explained.
She brought up to her fiancé having a baby many times over the years, and he kept pushing the date back on her. He stated they should be more financially secure, even though they’re doing well and have been for some time.
She went along with his wishes, waiting around for the day when he would decide to be ready to start a family with her.
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But then a week ago, she was hanging out with her fiancé’s sister (who has become a great friend to her), and she found out some horrifying information.
“She brought up how my fiancé told her that he had a vasectomy during my work-related trip last month. I had absolutely no idea about it,” she added.
“She thought I knew everything, and we agreed on it together. I understand, it is his body and his choice, but knowing the fact that I wanted to have a child, it hurts me deeply that he couldn’t even talk about it to me.”
“I confronted him and he apologized for not informing me about it. He told me that prior to that, he used to go and donate…so that he could be a possible bio dad to someone without any responsibilities. I was shocked.”
All along, her fiancé has been lying to her about wanting kids. He apparently decided against being a dad several years ago, but he didn’t let her know, as he was afraid she would leave him.
He figured that they could try to have a baby, knowing she would not end up pregnant after the procedure he had, and his plan was to point the finger at health problems.
She appreciated his honesty regarding this part, but for her, the damage had already been done. She’s about to be 38, and her clock is absolutely ticking.
“Even if I leave him, I don’t know whether I could find a compatible partner to have a child with anymore, especially knowing how chaotic the dating world is nowadays,” she continued.
“To me, it’s not only about having a child, but having a loving family as well for the child. So I don’t want to be voluntarily a single mother. I feel like I lost 7 years of my life to a lie.”
“Now I can’t face him, haven’t talked to him since last Sunday, and I am starting to think whether I am overreacting or not. Some parts of me miss him, but the majority is angry and disappointed.”
She’s left wondering if she should leave her fiancé over this.
What do you think?
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