Her Husband’s Adopting His Ex’s Toddler, Even Though She’s Not On Board For Playing Mom To This Kid
When you’re in a marriage, you expect your spouse to speak to you before making major, life-altering decisions.
But what happens when your spouse says yes to something that you’re not down to deal with? Do you walk away and file for divorce, or figure out a way to make his choice fit into a new normal?
This 33-year-old woman’s 35-year-old husband has a 10-year-old daughter with his ex. Sadly, his ex is an alcoholic, and she had to go to rehab a year ago to try to treat her addiction.
Rehab did work, and her husband’s ex managed to land a job and begin building a real life for herself and her kids (she also has a three-year-old girl, who is not her husband’s child).
Three months ago, her husband’s daughter phoned them up literally in the middle of the night to say her mom was not at home with them and they desperately needed help, as they had nothing to eat.
“We went over there, and a few minutes later, her mom came back drunk and probably on other stuff as well. He put her back in rehab, and we’ve kept both kids,” she explained.
“She just got out and has been talking about how she wants my husband to adopt her daughter, as she feels she’s going to relapse again, and she wants him to just take the kids after the adoption is finalized. My husband just agreed and didn’t talk to me about it.”
Her husband did eventually address the adoption with her, but he pushed for it; he didn’t ask if she was on board to play mom to this kid.
Her husband pointed out that since this kid has already been living under their roof, it was important for them to keep her.
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She responded to her husband that he never helps out with this kid, and they’re having a baby of their own. To be honest, she works from home but unexpectedly has to head to the office on occasion, and she doesn’t have anyone available who can babysit the toddler for her when this happens.
She reiterated that having a baby on the way, a 10-year-old, and a toddler were too many kids for her to successfully manage.
“He said I could just quit my job and stay home until they all turn 5 or 6 and then go back to work. I told him if he wants to adopt her, he can do that, and I can go in full-time and make more than he’s making and take care of everyone,” she added.
“He got mad and said he’s going to adopt her whether I like it or not. I had talked to some people, and they said it’s best for the little girl since she doesn’t have family on her mom’s side, and we don’t know her dad, and that I need to suck it up or leave.”
Do you think she’s wrong for standing her ground and not adopting a toddler when she knows she can’t handle this?
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