Her Mom Lied About Cheating, So She Doesn’t Want To Meet Her New Fiancé, Since This Guy Is Her Old Affair Partner
When your parents split after decades together, it can shake up everything you thought you knew about them. In her case, she wanted to believe her mom’s version of events, that the divorce was simply about being unhappy, not unfaithful.
But once her mom’s new romance went from casual to serious almost overnight, the pieces started to click into place.
The truth (that this relationship likely began as an affair) left her feeling betrayed not just by what happened, but by the months of denial and the emotional pressure to forgive.
Now, with her mom engaged to the man she once swore wasn’t in the picture, she’s been asked to show up, smile, and give her blessing. She wants her mom to be happy, but crossing her own boundaries for the sake of appearances? That’s where she draws the line.
This woman’s mom got divorced from her dad last year after spending more than three decades married to one another.
Throughout the divorce process, her dad insisted that her mom had carried out an affair, but her mom denied it all the way and stated she was simply over being married to him.
She backed her mom and tried to get her dad to see that her mom was miserable. Her diplomacy only served to make her relationship with her dad even worse.
“A month later, she told me she was going on a date. I was genuinely happy for her and supportive from a distance. I even said hello to this new guy over FT,” she explained.
“Over the next two months, it escalated quickly. Casual dating turned into trips, meeting his family, and planning a trip next year.”
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“Then it hit me. My mom had been having an affair long before leaving my dad. The man she was seeing had been married and left his wife for her.”
She went to her mom about the affair, but her mom refused to tell her the truth. After pushing her mom to quit lying, her mom finally confessed.
Her mom did say sorry to her, but then she got to work on trying to make her issue her forgiveness. Listening to her mom trying to manipulate her emotionally was harder to deal with than coming to terms with the affair itself.
Lately, she’s been living in another country, so she hasn’t been spending time with her mom, but her mom just told her that she’s engaged and wants her to meet her fiancé.
Her mom also expects her to show up to the wedding as well, but she has no interest in anything her mom wants her to do.
“I want her to be happy, but my boundaries around this are firm. [Am I the jerk] for refusing to give my mom the active approval and participation she wants, even though I support her happiness from a distance?” she wondered.
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