Her Kids Freaked Out On Her For Dating A Younger, Poorer Man Following The Death Of Their Dad
Grief changes the way people see you. When you lose a partner, everyone around you suddenly feels like they know what’s appropriate for your healing, your future, your heart.
For one widow, that judgment came crashing down the moment she dared to find love again, with someone younger, someone outside her social standing, someone who made her happy.
What should’ve been a chance at rebuilding turned into a battle between her own joy and her family’s expectations.
A couple of years ago, this 45-year-old woman became a widow. Her late husband was a wonderful man, and she’s been doing her best to continue having a good life in their tiny town.
She lives in a nice house, she attends social events, and she focuses on raising her kids, a 21-year-old daughter and a 24-year-old son.
Not that long ago, she started dating a much younger man: 30-year-old Ron.
“He’s a thoughtful, intelligent, down-to-earth man who works as a tree farmer and lives a very simple life. He hasn’t much interest in stuffy cocktail parties and snobby country club sets,” she explained.
“He’s also several years younger than me and, frankly, not someone from ‘our circle.’ When word got out that we were seeing each other, everything exploded. My children were furious.”
“My son accused me of embarrassing the family and damaging our reputation. He said that I was being ‘inappropriate.’ My daughter said I was being selfish and reckless, and that I was in a midlife crisis. Several of my friends either distanced themselves or warned me I was risking my social standing.”
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One particular friend called her desperate and said her new relationship was nothing serious, which truly hurt her feelings.
Then, her kids bought her a TV as a present, and they maintained that she could rely on that to keep her from being lonely.
What they really were trying to say is that they expected her to sit at home by herself and quit seeing Ron, since they didn’t feel it was acceptable for her to keep on dating this dude.
“They’d rather I sit and watch artificial lives play out on a screen than go out and live my own. I tried to keep seeing Ron quietly, but the pressure got to me,” she continued.
“Eventually, I broke it off to avoid further upsetting everyone, even though it shattered me inside. Months passed. My son is planning to go abroad. My daughter is getting married.”
“They’ve moved on with their lives just fine. Meanwhile, I’m still here, staring at that television set, wondering if I traded real happiness for hollow approval. Ron came back recently, just to see how I was. He still cares.”
If the roles were reversed and it was a widower dating a younger woman, chances are nobody would bat an eye.
The outrage isn’t really about her age difference with Ron; it’s about the fact that she stepped outside the script people wrote for her.
I think that she deserves more than a TV set and the role of lonely widow. She deserves the same chance at happiness that everyone else takes for granted.
Do you think she was wrong to date a man so much younger than her?
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