She’s Leaving Her Husband For Gifting Her Stilettos To His Affair Partner And Insisting He Never Approved Of Her Being Transgender
Marriage vows may promise support through sickness and struggles, but they don’t give anyone a free pass to betray trust.
For one woman, that reality hit hard when the husband who once cared for her during years of illness later admitted to cheating, lying, and even giving away a deeply sentimental gift to his affair partner.
Now, after filing for divorce, she’s questioning whether leaving him makes her ungrateful for the care he once gave, or if it’s simply the only way forward.
This 35-year-old woman met her 35-year-old husband, John, back in college, when she still was a man herself. She’s trans, and they got married back in 2014 after it was finally made legal in California to marry someone of the same gender.
A year later, she opened up a restaurant, which was her dream. Her business was such a success that John had the freedom to buckle down and put everything into his goal of being a writer.
John did well for himself, too, and he wrote articles as well as short stories. Sadly, in 2018, while her business was thriving, she came down with an infection.
She collapsed over it and spent close to two years in bed. John was the one who had to play caretaker.
After she recovered, COVID hit and forced her restaurant to close. Luckily, they had enough money saved up that they managed to survive.
“When I reopened, I couldn’t wait to work. John even finished his first novel. It felt perfect. In 2022, my great aunt passed but gifted me a pair of MB stilettos, her way of saying she accepted me as a trans woman,” she explained.
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“I only wore them on special occasions. In 2023, under my doctor’s advice, I stopped taking the meds for my infection. This caused a seizure, leading to long-term memory loss. Random memories were just gone.”
“In 2024, John and I were thriving career-wise. My therapist and I were going through photo albums to see if anything brought up memories. That’s when I saw a picture of my great aunt and remembered the shoes. I ran home to find them gone.”
John insisted the stilettos were all in her head and had never existed in real life, but her siblings told her the truth.
John argued that her siblings were lying, and he promptly started traveling a ton for work. He would fail to call her, though she would receive haphazard emails from him stating he checked into his various hotels.
For weeks on end, John traveled. Back in December, he quit coming home or reaching out to her at all.
She confronted John a month later, and he confessed to cheating on her with a woman he had met. Oh, by the way, those missing stilettos?
John gifted them to his affair partner!
Then, John told her that he had never approved of her being a transgender woman, but she knew that once upon a time, he did support her. That was a memory she couldn’t forget.
After speaking to her therapist, who claimed John was acting like a narcissist, she filed for divorce. John refused to sign the papers, and he relocated to their guest bedroom while telling her he was too in love with her to actually move out.
“He also started leaving notes in my purse about how sorry he was, and how confused he was. But I knew he just said those things because he was writing his second book and needed my job as his cushion again,” she added.
“I left him a note: if divorce is not finalized by the end of March, I will be seeing other people, even if you stay here. I started seeing Marcus (M, 41), who knows my situation and understands it. When Marcus isn’t around, John begs me to give him another chance.”
“[John is] always reminding me of how he took care of me when I was sick. I guess for better or for worse just got chucked out the window. But I’m questioning things. [Am I the jerk] for leaving my husband when he took care of me when I was sick? Does he get one free pass at an affair for that?”
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