His Parents Severely Neglected Him In Their Pursuit Of Having Another Child, And They Spent All Their Money On IVF
Some kids grow up wondering if they were ever truly wanted, but this guy knew the answer. He was wanted, just not enough.
Not enough to be prioritized. Not enough to be celebrated. Not enough to be seen. For his whole life, his parents were laser-focused on the child they didn’t have, pouring every dollar, every ounce of attention, and every plan for the future into a sibling that never came.
Now he’s an adult, standing in the aftermath of their obsession, wondering if it’s even possible to forgive the people who made him feel like a placeholder.
This 19-year-old guy’s parents had him back when they were 19 and 20, and six months later, they jumped into trying to have another child.
His mom and dad invested 18.5 years in their pursuit of a second kid, and they have not been successful at all.
“They have spent crazy money on IVF and other fertility treatments. They have neglected everyone else in their lives, including me, in this attempt to become parents (again),” he explained.
“As a kid, I was in no extracurriculars because my parents were saving/spending the money to have more kids. There were weeks at a time where I had no money in my school lunch account, and my parents didn’t make me a lunch, so teachers had to give me extra stuff they had on standby.”
“Speaking of school, I never got enough school supplies and would be sent in with used pens and pencils my parents had around the house. I used one of my dad’s old backpacks for stuff, and my parents were the only ones who never donated a single supply to the classroom.”
Every parent-teacher conference? His parents skipped out on. When his high school guidance counselor and therapist tried to meet his mom and dad to talk, they ignored them.
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His parents refused to let him go to birthday parties or have his friends come over (that was because they did not want to have to feed his friends).
When he did get to go over to a friend’s house to play, his parents would not pick him up when they were supposed to.
On one occasion, his friend’s mom nearly called the police since his parents were over four hours late to get him. He had to give his friend’s mom his grandparents’ number so they could get him instead.
“Whenever we were around extended family, all my parents could talk about was fertility treatments and having babies,” he added.
“There were a lot of times when they both said they just wanted to have kids and hated not being able to. Other times, they did say they wanted more kids, but also added that they hated feeling like they had to settle for one.”
“We didn’t always have as much food in the house as we should because my parents would do anything to save for treatment. I never got new clothes unless all my old ones were so worn down they couldn’t be worn again. One time, I had only two outfits to alternate between.”
After every failed IVF attempt, his parents would sob about the unfairness of it all and force him to listen. As he got older, he spent nearly all of his time sleeping over with his friends so he could get out of the house.
He picked up a part-time job, too. When he turned 18, he left home to be with one of his friends and their family for multiple weeks on end before renting a place of his own.
He stayed in touch with his extended family members, who failed to help him, even though they were aware of how bad things at home were.
These same family members are now pressuring him into trying to maintain a relationship with his parents while guilt-tripping him by saying they are getting older.
They think he owes it to his mom and dad to forgive them for being bad parents.
“I told my extended family that my parents can never make up for neglecting me in their effort to have more kids, and I can never forgive them for making me feel like I wasn’t good enough,” he continued.
“I told them my therapy bill will be huge by the end, and my parents caused it all. They [messed] me up and left me with the bill.”
Do you think he’s wrong for not being willing to forgive and forget?
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