He Needs To Dump His Girlfriend, But She And Her Kids Live With Him, So It’s A Sticky Situation
There’s a difference between building a life with someone and carrying their entire weight on your back. He stepped into the role of father figure, partner, and provider, and didn’t hesitate once.
But now, he’s starting to wonder if he’s being loved, or just used. The emotional connection is gone, the financial strain is growing, and the woman he once adored seems more invested in what he offers than who he is.
When walking away affects not just a partner but her children too, how do you untangle a life without breaking hearts?
This 41-year-old man has a 35-year-old girlfriend who is a single mom with three children, all under the age of 13.
His girlfriend’s kids adore him, and he considers himself a better father figure than their biological ones, as those guys are real deadbeats.
When he and his girlfriend first began dating, they were glued to each other’s hip. He waited until they had been seriously dating for a couple of months prior to meeting her children.
Initially, it felt like he was living on cloud nine with his girlfriend, but in time, that faded out, and he started to see some red flags with her.
“I bought a house a year into our relationship, which I felt was a decent amount of time to know a person, and it’s solely in my name despite her living here,” he said.
“She would constantly explain that her prior apartment was somewhat messy because she worked long hours and the apartment wasn’t meant to be a long-term situation, but also, she was possessive of her messes and insisted she would clean them up.”
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He had no choice but to pick up after his girlfriend, and although he left larger heaps of clutter for her to deal with, it never happened.
After all, why would she clean up her mess when he was doing it for her? Anyway, after they moved into the home he purchased, she made no effort to organize her junk she brought along with her.
It’s been two years now, and his girlfriend’s idea of cleaning is chucking things into boxes or bags and stowing them away.
Then, when she needs to find something, she unpacks all of her things and makes another mess that has to be dealt with.
So, now that you understand the differences in their idea of a clean home, let’s move into the romance department, which is dead.
His girlfriend has put on a significant amount of weight, and she hides behind that as an excuse, even though he couldn’t care less about what the scale says; he still finds her attractive. It’s hurtful to him that she’s fine with not doing anything physical.
“There is much more to it, but essentially she recklessly spends money, she works long weekend hours leaving me to transport and watch her kids, her spending problems have put her seriously behind on living expenses and utilities, she drinks daily, I pay for her health insurance, and recently I had to withdraw from my retirement to accommodate for her lack of paying,” he added.
“So in a nutshell, she has no respect for what I’m doing to provide for her and her kids, and she treats me like a personal babysitter and bank account, but then obviously acts like nothing is wrong with the relationship because she clearly wants me around to be a good father figure to her kids and subsidize her lifestyle.”
“Now that the backstory is explained, for men (and women who have had to leave or have been forced out) what’s the best way to go about this? Does anyone have amicable split stories? It should be noted that we did have one situation in the last year where we talked about splitting up, and she asked me things like ‘How often are you going to want to see the kids?’ And giving like a 4-month timeline to move out, which is giving me delusional vibes.”
What advice do you have for him?
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