His Wife’s Mad At Him For Saying It’s Not A Real Job Being A Stay-At-Home Mom To Their Teens
There’s no question that being a stay-at-home parent is one of the hardest jobs there is; when your kids are little.
But what happens when they grow up, gain independence, and no longer need round-the-clock care? Is it still fair to call staying home a full-time job?
That’s the dilemma this military dad is facing. After 20 years of serving his country, he’s ready to trade deployments for dinner duty.
When he gently asked his wife, who hasn’t worked in over a decade, to consider getting a job now that the kids are older, she didn’t take it well.
For the last fifteen years, this 37-year-old man has been married to his wife, who is the same age as him. They have two kids: a 14-year-old (who isn’t biologically his) and a 12-year-old.
Both of their children are in school from 7:30 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. The bus takes the kids to and from school.
Occasionally, the kids have activities after school and will be there until 5 p.m.; then he comes to get them when he’s done with work.
“They’re becoming more independent now, and I had a discussion with my wife about how she could get a job (she’s never had one besides being a SAHM) now that the kids are older and I’m retiring from my 20-year military career and could stay home and be a SAHD now,” he explained.
“She doesn’t enjoy cooking or cleaning, so I figured it’d be best if I step into those roles so we can eat less takeout and a healthier diet.”
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“The kids eat breakfast and lunch at school, and when they go to school, she typically goes to the gym, yoga, then goes for coffee, browses social media, then shopping or window shopping, or goes and does her hair, nails, eyebrows, eyelashes, makeup, etc, then comes home to cook dinner.”
He’s bothered that his wife is spending money instead of making it, and it was never their agreement for her to stay home for so long.
He very cautiously told his wife that being a stay-at-home mom to teenagers doesn’t qualify as a real job, and she instantly took offense.
She accused him of being unappreciative of all the hard work she does at home. Since then, his wife has been acting distant, and things are awkward for sure.
To be fair, he always told his wife he would retire from the military as soon as he put twenty years in, so she had plenty of time to prep and get a part-time job to help out with the expenses.
He’s left wondering if he was out of line to tell his wife that it’s not a full-time career being a stay-at-home mom.
What do you think? Was he wrong to say being a stay-at-home mom to two teens isn’t a full-time career? Or is it fair for him to want more balance now that their lives are changing?
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