She Wants To Divorce Her Husband For Saying Women Over 60 Aren’t Attractive
It’s usually viewed as a sign of a strong marriage when spouses are together for decades, but in reality, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, people stay together simply because they feel guilty about leaving, are afraid of the unknown, or have just grown accustomed to living more like roommates than romantic partners.
For a while, this 60-year-old woman was in the same boat. She and her husband, who’s 70, have been married for 25 years, and their relationship is far from romantic or supportive. Yet, it was one recent comment on her birthday that finally made her realize it was time to move on.
The day she turned 60, she snapped a selfie and planned to post it on Facebook. But before she did, she turned to her husband, showed him the photo, and asked if she looked “okay” for her age. Shockingly, he just responded, “No woman looks good over 60,” before going back to watching his TV show.
“I was hurt! I went to my closet and cried. It took me about a week to confront him and tell him how much it hurt me. He told me it was just a joke and I’m too sensitive,” she recalled.
For her, this was the icing on the cake in their marriage, and she realized she was done with her husband. According to her, they’ve been living like roommates and staying in separate bedrooms for the past 20 years, and they never sleep together, let alone show any affection or even just say, “I love you.”
Throughout their entire relationship, he’s never told her that she looks pretty, either. She claims that while she’s supposedly “not beautiful,” she is “fairly attractive” and receives compliments from both friends and strangers. Her husband is a different story.
“For some reason, he can’t compliment me on anything: looks, projects I do, being a good mom, nothing,” she explained.
“We just had our 25th anniversary, and he gave me nothing but a side hug and a grumpy, ‘Happy anniversary.'”
As if that wasn’t bad enough, her husband barely helps out around the house, either. Yes, he works and provides for them financially. However, he refuses to assist with anything else and doesn’t have the money to hire outside help, leaving her to handle all the house maintenance on her own, from painting and pressure washing to mowing their lawn and trimming trees.
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She’s tried speaking up for herself in the past, too, and asking her husband to pitch in. But he winds up accusing her of being a “nag” or trying to spark a fight.
Not to mention, several years ago, she asked why he was so opposed to working in the yard, and her husband used the fact that he worked a job as an excuse. This led her to point out how all the other men in their neighborhood both have jobs and work on their yards, and her husband just replied, “Well, they don’t have to be married to you.”
To be clear, she noted that her husband has never called her names, raised his voice at her, or become physical. Rather, instead of engaging in screaming matches, he becomes very quiet and withdrawn.
“When I bring up hurtful things, he’s said I’m lying about it, over-exaggerating, or he just doesn’t remember,” she detailed.
“He just shuts down and refuses to talk, so nothing ever gets solved.”
Given all of this, you’re probably wondering why she’s stayed in her marriage for so long, and there are two different reasons for this. First of all, they share children, and part of her remained in the relationship for them.
Her kids are now grown up, and throughout their childhood, she’d hoped that things with her husband would improve. Obviously, though, that didn’t happen.
“I hope I haven’t damaged them and their future relationships. I am so angry at myself for wasting my forties and fifties hoping for change,” she admitted.
On top of that, her husband has struggled with some health problems, and she felt bad about leaving him while he was dealing with those issues. They made him miserable and took away his ability to participate in his previously beloved hobbies. But now, he’s apparently better.
That’s why, following the rude remark about her appearance on her birthday, she’s decided to leave her husband once and for all. Last week, she revealed that she no longer wanted to be his wife, which actually surprised him.
Her husband stated that he’d had no idea she was so unhappy and apologized. Still, the conversation stopped there, and he didn’t add anything about loving her or working on their relationship.
“The thought of doing this for another 10 years is too much. The thought of having to care for him as he ages makes me very depressed. I feel like it’s now or never for me!” she vented.
She clarified that she’s not worried about her finances and will be fine without her husband. Moreover, she knows that her friends and family will understand since they see how her husband treats her and cannot believe she’s stuck around for this long.
Nonetheless, she’s seeking some reassurance that getting divorced at 60 is a good idea and that she’ll be okay.
Do you know anyone who’s gotten a divorce later in their life? Will she be better off without her husband? What advice would you give her in this next chapter?
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