Have you ever suffered a breakup, spoken to your ex again, and wondered whether they still had feelings for you? The sheer thought that perhaps you two could mend your relationship and get back together is usually enough to spark some hope, particularly if you never stopped loving them.
This man experienced the very same longing after his ex-wife initiated their divorce, and they separated about three months ago. While they didn’t have any kids, they did share two pets (a cat and a dog) and worked out an arrangement that made sense for them.
“I decided I was going to keep the dog, as it was mine when we met, and she can keep the cat, since she got it. So, I let her walk the dog one more time,” he recalled.
It was during that walk that he and his ex-wife had a very emotional and honest conversation. She spoke about how hard her life had been after taking on multiple jobs and losing friends in the wake of their split.
His ex’s vulnerability truly shocked him, too, as it was something he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Then, she began talking about how she’d seen photos of him and thought he looked happier. Meanwhile, she was worse off post-divorce and had even lost weight to an unhealthy level.
The fact that his ex-wife was struggling so much started to make him feel guilty as well. Their split had caused him to thrive emotionally, mentally, physically, and even financially, while she was going through the opposite.
“I started to think, I have almost never seen her this honest and vulnerable. Maybe she has regrets and feelings still,” he detailed.
“Maybe she thinks this was a mistake. And as her soon-to-be ex-husband, I should try one last Hail Mary, right?”
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That’s why he wound up calling his ex the very next day and admitting to still being in love with her. He also asked if she felt the same way, and to his surprise, she said no.
Apparently, nothing had changed in his ex-wife’s eyes.
Despite the shock, he understood where his ex was coming from and stated that if that was the case, then he’d be blocking her number.
His ex tried to push back on this, saying she might need to get in touch with him about the dog or in case of an emergency. Nonetheless, he stuck to his guns, told her she was “on her own,” and hung up on her.
For him, that phone call was a true revelation that brought him so much clarity. He flat-out admitted his feelings to his ex-wife, and she didn’t feel the same way. And now, he thinks he doesn’t have to feel guilty anymore.
“All the vulnerability about how hard everything has been since I am gone only has to do with what I did for her, not me as a person,” he reasoned.
“I do not want a person who only wants I provide in life. The true love of my life would not only care about that aspect. They would not be able to stand to lose me.”
So, he’s since followed through on his statement. He blocked his ex-wife and feels more in control and free to move on than he ever has before.
Finding out that his ex-wife doesn’t actually love him and only missed what he could offer her was the “ultimate” form of closure.
“For those struggling, remember you can’t force somebody to see your value. Take them as they are now, not who they were or could be. Their actions are your closure. This is who they are,” he advised.
Have you ever held onto old feelings for an ex, only to realize they truly didn’t love you back? While painful, do you agree that it’s a good push to move forward?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
