There’s no preparing for the kind of pain that comes when the love story you thought you had turns out to be a total lie. She believed she was lucky enough to have a wonderful husband and a future she could count on, but now she’s come to see that her husband is nothing but a two-faced liar who may have felt a spark for her at all.
For the last eleven years, this 41-year-old woman has been married to her 43-year-old husband. Unfortunately, she just learned that he fell in love with another woman, whom he began pursuing in February. Her husband’s affair partner is married too, and has two children.
“I thought we were happily married. I was happily married. He told me he loved me every day. He was making plans for the future with me the week before I found out about this,” she explained.
“I found out August 19. I was out of town for two weeks, all alone. Her husband told me, and my husband confessed after twenty minutes of lying and denying.”
The affair was brought to her attention on the third day of her work trip, and she was unable to leave and go home. She had to spend those two weeks all by herself, consumed by her anger and tears.
She has since returned from her trip and seen her husband in person, who revealed he is beginning therapy, though he has no interest in reconciling with her.
He also admitted he’s been lying to everyone regarding his feelings on their marriage, and it’s hardly a new thing.
“I don’t know what to think. I thought we had honest communication. I felt loved. I gave love. I thought I was spending forever with this man, and now I feel disposable,” she continued.
“Who is he? Was he really lying for 11 years? How am I ever supposed to believe anybody ever again if they tell me they love me when this man could lie about it for so long?”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“I feel like my life is over. Not because I’m afraid to be single or divorced, but because I don’t know how I can live a life worth living if I can’t trust someone ever again.”
She’s no stranger to loss, having dealt with the death of her parents back in her 30s after they were both diagnosed with cancer. That made her convinced she knew what genuine pain was, but she says it does not compare to losing her husband.
I understand why she feels like her life is over right now, but it’s not; it’s just this chapter ended in the ugliest way possible. She gave her whole heart to a man who looked her in the eye every day and lied, and while that’s crushing, she shouldn’t let that harden her heart in the long run.
Once the dust settles, I hope she’ll realize that his affair doesn’t define her and she shouldn’t waste another ounce of energy carrying the weight of his choices.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
