When she loaned the man she loves money, she completely anticipated that he would get her all paid up. But instead of accountability, she got a man who shrugs and a future mother-in-law who thinks love means funding a grown adult’s laziness.
Several days ago, this woman and her fiancé were chatting with his mom, and her fiancé brought up his desire to get a new car. He pointed out that he needed her to cosign for his new set of wheels, given that he has terrible credit, while hers is pretty perfect.
Now, her fiancé has a long-standing history of making mistakes like missing his car payments or not paying down his credit cards when the bills are due.
One time, a car dealer repossessed her fiancé’s car after he stopped making payments on it for three months in a row. To this day, no company will approve her fiancé for a credit card.
“I told him that I do not want to cosign, that I worked to get my credit good, and he already owes me over $300+ dollars, probably close to $500. I’ve lost count,” she explained.
Her fiancé stated that he was not mature when he made a mess of his credit score, since his worst offenses happened approximately six years ago.
Her fiancé stated that he had not missed a car payment in quite some time. But then his mom inserted herself into the conversation and insisted that her fiancé didn’t have to pay her back the money she lent him, since they are ‘a couple.’
She was so furious that her fiancé’s mom had the audacity to say that!
“We just got a house together, and I have paid for 85% of our belongings. We ended up getting a couch for $600, and he said if I paid $300 and took $300 out of my savings, we could get the couch, and he’d pay me back the $300 for his half,” she continued.
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“It’s been almost 2 years, and he hasn’t paid back any of it, and his mother says it’s not right for me to ask him to pay me back. The money he ‘borrowed’ was money I saved up over time for EMERGENCIES!”
“Probably started saving when I was around 19, am now 28. I haven’t touched that money once- only to take it to give him and not get it back.”
Her fiancé’s mom then lied to her face and said that when he borrows money, she does not make him pay it back (this is actually false).
When her fiancé receives his paycheck, the first thing he does with it is pay back his mom for whatever it was he borrowed last from her.
Anyway, she can’t get over how mad she is at his mom for trying to make it seem that the money wasn’t important to her. That money was intended for her to use as an emergency fund for herself, and she wants it back.
I’m surprised that he watched her empty herself out and still feels entitled to more. If he doesn’t see the problem now, he never will, and I’m afraid he’s just using her. If she marries him, she’s signing up for a lifetime of debt and disrespect.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
