I’m fortunate enough to have sisters who are some of my biggest supporters. We can laugh together, cry together, confide in each other, and be honest about our feelings, even when it’s scary or difficult. But the truth is that not every sibling relationship is as altruistic.
Some siblings seemingly don’t feel the same loyalty (or responsibility) in upholding that level of honesty. And in certain situations, it can lead to the downfall of multiple relationships.
Take this 32-year-old woman as just one example. Her husband, who’s 34, recently bought a new phone, and as she helped him move his data from his old device to his new one, she stumbled upon a shocking text from her husband to her 38-year-old sister.
Apparently, the message was sent four years ago, before they even got engaged, and read, “You didn’t tell her, did you? Please don’t say anything, and let’s talk about it.”
Obviously, the text piqued her interest, and she immediately confronted her husband. It turns out that before he proposed to her, he’d confessed to having feelings for her sister, and her sister turned him down.
“My sister never told me. She let me marry him,” she revealed.
So, she and her husband tied the knot three years ago and proceeded to have two kids together, who are currently 2 years old and 9 months old. She never knew that her husband actually had a crush on her sister, and the revelation has made her question everything.
In hindsight, she realizes that a lot of her sister’s behavior makes sense now. Her sister actually asked whether she was “sure” when she agreed to marry her husband and didn’t seem very excited about her wedding. On top of that, her sister barely spoke to him.
“My sister had every chance to tell me, including when I confronted her about not liking my husband, and she said that of course she liked him,” she recalled.
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“I was so stupid and blind.”
As for her husband, he swears the situation was “nothing” and wants her to just forget about it. She, on the other hand, has no clue about the full extent of her husband’s feelings. Moreover, when they started and if they ever even truly ended.
Following her conversation with her husband, she called her sister, too, who just began crying, apologizing, and claiming she didn’t know what to do at the time.
Now, it’s safe to say that her sister was put in an incredibly tough position. But in her eyes, she never would’ve allowed her sister to marry a guy who wasn’t completely in love with her, even if that meant risking her sister getting angry at her for sharing the truth.
“This is my sister who should have [cared more] about my future with a man who obviously falls around in love while stringing someone she’s close to along,” she reasoned.
“I would never have been angry with my sister. She is my best friend, but I would never have married him. Never.”
On top of that, she honestly doesn’t know why her husband married her, either, if his feelings were elsewhere. He just swears that he no longer feels the same way about his sister.
But quite frankly, she thinks that’s irrelevant now because, again, if she knew the truth, she would’ve ended their relationship right then and there. Instead, both her husband and her sister took away her power of choice by hiding it from her.
Now, she’s been left feeling “heartbroken” and “helpless” with two children. She admits that her husband is a wonderful father and will probably be a solid co-parent as well. Still, she’s disgusted by his actions and knows their marriage is over for good.
“As for my sister, I don’t want to see her for a long time. At least for the foreseeable future,” she vented.
“I know that life is unfair. But it should at least be fair with the people who pretend to love you.”
If you were in her shoes, could you forgive your sister after this? Do you think their sibling relationship will ever recover? What advice would you give her?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
