Think back to the last time you parted ways with a partner you truly loved. How long did it take you to move on? A month, a year, or even a decade?
Mourning what “could’ve been” for so long might sound crazy. But this man has been carrying the same weight on his shoulders for even longer: more than 30 years, to be exact.
So, as a last-ditch effort to save his sanity, he recently decided to write a letter to the woman he deeply loved and never got over. And to his surprise, her response finally provided some much-needed closure.
For some context, he and the woman last spoke in 1992, and she went on to get married and have two children. She’s been with her husband for over three decades now, but he didn’t intend to get in the way of her relationship with his letter.
“The letter was not me trying to reconnect or stir up anything inappropriate; just find peace,” he explained.
“I had a dream about her six or seven weeks ago, and the subsequent depression had me in a very dark place, emotionally.”
That’s why he wanted to put pen to paper and tell her all the things he never got to say. He wished to “honor” the time they spent together and share his grief over the fact that their “timeline” together never got to fully develop. Then, he hoped to let go of their past.
Yet, after he sent the letter, he was genuinely shocked that the woman eventually wrote back. On top of that, her response wasn’t dismissive, distant, or uncomfortable as some might expect. Rather, it was quite warm and sincere.
The woman didn’t attempt to “rewrite” their past or make any promises that she couldn’t keep. She just acknowledged the connection they once had and was careful not to cross any boundaries.
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“She met me in that space of shared memory with kindness and understanding, quietly recognizing what once mattered and allowing it to be laid to rest,” he detailed.
But what stood out to him most about the woman’s response was her sheer empathy for his younger self. In his initial letter, he admitted to feeling guilty about some of his choices that kept them apart and wished he could go back, change them, and have more faith in their bond.
Well, the woman stated that, while it can be hard to let go of regrets, he needed to forgive his younger self. Because, at the end of the day, he had no clue how things would’ve played out in the future.
“I’ll never forget what she and I were, and thanks to her response, I no longer have to carry it. We parted again, but this time, with dignity and understanding,” he said.
“Sometimes, the lost love doesn’t return, but a second chance for closure does.”
Do you agree that closure is the key to moving forward? Would you ever write a letter to the one that got away in your life?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
