How would you feel if the person you were dating suddenly sprung it on you that their adult child would be coming to live with you, and it’s now your responsibility to feed and cook for this person?
One day, this 50-year-old woman’s 49-year-old boyfriend announced to her that his 25-year-old son was getting evicted and moving in with them. This was not a discussion; he didn’t ask her opinion or for her permission; he just told her it was happening.
She’s been with her boyfriend for 12 years, and they have a 12-year-old son together. She was confused about why his adult son was coming to live under their roof, since he has a job making decent money, but it got worse from there.
“My BF said that I was to be responsible for buying groceries and cooking for his 25-year-old son. I said that’s not fair, and I can’t afford it,” she explained.
“His son and I make the same amount of money, and now his son has no bills to pay. He can afford to buy his own food, and he knows how to cook.”
“I also have a 25-year-old daughter who not only pays her own bills, but she has type one diabetes and pays almost $1k a month to stay alive. If I’m going to feed any 25-year-old, it’s going to be her.”
Since her boyfriend wouldn’t back down, they came to a solution; her boyfriend’s adult son would pay her $5 a day to buy food and make dinner for him. I mean, who can buy any kind of dinner for $5 these days? That’s a deal.
Two weeks went by without her getting any payment, and then her boyfriend’s adult son gave her $40. After that, he quit paying her completely, so she stopped making food for him.
One night, she got pizza for herself and her 12-year-old son, and her boyfriend invited his adult son to have some too. Well, his adult son ate eight slices of pizza on his own.
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She was so done with being used that she said something about it.
“So my boyfriend tells me the following day that I’m disgusting for being upset, I feel pretty disgusted with my boyfriend as a MAN??? If he wants to feed his 25-year-old son, then he should pay for it as his father,” she said.
“The 25-year-old is not my responsibility, and the 25-year-old son has told me I’m nothing to him… while I was cooking for him, the 25-year-old was going out to eat and out on the town.”
“While I was taking food from my 12-year-old growing son’s mouth to give to the 25-year-old, but I’m gross for putting my foot down.”
Her boyfriend argued that she wouldn’t feel the same way if it were their 12-year-old son, but she doesn’t see the reasoning in that. Her youngest doesn’t have a full-time job or a way to provide for himself. His adult son does.
Her boyfriend hasn’t even offered to give her money to buy food for his son, which is additionally upsetting to her, since he makes amazing money and nonstop buys lunch and breakfast for all of his friends.
She works her heart out for the money that she has, and she simply can’t afford to take on the burden of paying for her boyfriend’s adult son.
I think it’s absurd that her boyfriend is dumping his adult son on her like he’s her responsibility. Why is her boyfriend not providing for him and instead, forcing her to? She’s nothing but her boyfriend’s doormat, and that’s sad.
Time for her to dump her boyfriend so she can be free of his nonsense and his adult son’s, too!
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
