Baby names are meant to be a joint venture between couples. Some couples argue over baby names or disagree; someone likes something too trendy, someone else thinks it sounds like a dog name. But eventually, you have to reach a compromise or settle on a name you both can live with.
But how would you feel if your spouse picked the one name you hated for your child, didn’t allow you in the delivery room, and then tried to pretend everything was fine?
This 31-year-old man and his 32-year-old wife met back in college while attending an anime convention, and a couple of years later, they started officially dating.
Identifying as nerds isn’t just a big part of their identities; it’s the basis of their love story. Six years ago, they tied the knot, purchased a house, and began trying for a baby.
While trying to start their family, they had plenty of time to come up with two entire lists of names, since they struggled to conceive.
His wife desperately wanted to name their baby after a nerdy webcomic series they enjoy, and while he said it would be adorable, he wanted the name to be a more artful, instead of obvious, nod to that.
He stated that he didn’t want their future child to have a name that was blatantly attached to a character or fandom, and his wife acknowledged his position. After his wife got pregnant, they each picked their favorite names from the lists they made.
“However, when we found out the baby was a girl, she became fixated on naming our daughter Vriska, from Homestuck. Specifically Vriska. I said no multiple times,” he explained.
“She insisted it was meaningful because fandoms are part of our relationship. She wouldn’t even hear me out on any other names from Homestuck in that month.”
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“Eventually, we had a very heartfelt conversation about it and ended up agreeing that she could choose the name, but from our previously written list, which already contained plenty of subtle references.”
When his wife reached her third trimester, his mother-in-law threw them a baby shower. They knew they were having a girl at that rate, and their little girl marked the first girl in their family from that particular generation, so his mother-in-law was thrilled.
The party was wonderful, but when it came time to open up the gifts, he was shocked to see that his mother-in-law bought onesies with the name Vriska on the front, and his brother-in-law got a wood sign for the nursery with the same name on it.
He was beside himself, as that was the one name he disliked, but he bit his tongue. Only after they got back home from the party did he remind his wife that they hadn’t decided on that name together.
“She immediately exploded. Yelling, tears, accusing me of being ashamed of our hobbies? I ended up having to try to calm her down while still trying to maintain my point,” he said.
“When, after like 20 minutes of this, I firmly said we are not naming our daughter that, she grabbed onto my right arm and dug her nails into it while screaming.”
“It was extremely weird. She’s always been a bit impulsive, but she’s never done stuff like this. She grabbed the onesies and called her family from the front door patio. She was on the phone the whole time her mom drove here, and would scream if I tried to come out.”
His wife ultimately left to stay with her mom and refused to pick up the phone when he called her. He then stopped by in an effort to speak to her, but she would not open the door to him.
At 33 weeks, his wife had to go to the hospital to be induced. Following the birth of their daughter, his wife attempted to come home, but he let her know he would never be able to forgive her because she didn’t allow him to be there for the birth of their baby.
He requested that they get therapy both separately and as a couple, before demanding to know if she truly named their daughter Vriska, which is a troll in that webcomic series, by the way. His wife admitted that she had officially named their daughter Vriska, so he kicked her back out of the house.
“I said all mistakes were reparable, but if she did not agree to change our daughter’s name to something we had actually discussed, I would file for divorce and fight her for custody,” he continued.
“Her family and most of my family think I’m being unreasonable, and that I can just call the baby by her middle name. My sister said I should never put conditions [on] starting therapy.”
“What do I do? How can I fix this? Am I being unreasonable for expecting my wife [not to] undermine me in such a dramatic way? Should I agree to let her move in and go to counseling before bringing the name up again?”
Wow, I do not think any amount of therapy can repair this. Not only did his wife exclude him from the delivery room and pick a name he hated for their daughter, but she also put her hands on him and screamed at him. She literally attacked him!
She’s crazy, abusive, and a liar. What a terrible trifecta. Oh, and she’s definitely setting their kid up for a lifetime of bullying. Naruto would have been a safer name choice.
A divorce is the only thing that should be in his future regarding his wife.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
