His Ex Lied About Going To Therapy And Instead Was Meeting Up With Her Ex Every Week To Have Dinner With Him For The Last Eight Months

If you dare to lie to your spouse about hanging out with your ex, do you think they will believe you when you promise you didn't cheat?

I mean, on no planet do I think that's possible. If my husband lied to my face about spending time with his ex, I wouldn't buy that there was nothing more going on between them but a friendship!

Otherwise, why lie? Lies usually point to something happening that your spouse won't approve of. If that wasn't the case, the truth would have been the first thing thrown out there.

For the last 12 years, this 42-year-old man has been married to his 40-year-old wife, and they have two children together who are six and nine.

Eight months ago, his wife brought up a desire to go to therapy, as she was feeling somewhat "stuck." He was all for his wife attending therapy, and she has been going every Tuesday night from 6 to 8 p.m. while he's left getting their kids fed and tucked into bed.

When his wife gets back from her therapy sessions, he can see a significant difference in her. She's more easy-going and calm, and he was convinced therapy was doing her a world of good.

Except... she hasn't been going to therapy. She's been lying to his face about that and doing something else with her Tuesday evenings.

The way he found out was after their credit card got declined two weeks ago while he was shopping for groceries. Puzzled, he looked into their statement and recognized charges from a restaurant on the other side of town called Angela's.

The charges were from every Tuesday evening going back months, and this was during the hours she was supposed to be in therapy.

Serhii - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

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So explain how his wife was racking up charges at a restaurant instead of a therapist's office. He didn't say anything until his wife brought up her latest therapy session.

He then quizzed her on the location of her therapist's office, and he asked her if that was located near Angela's. His wife fell silent before spilling the beans.

Apparently, she's been meeting up with her ex-boyfriend to have dinner with him, and that's her therapy session!

This guy was in his wife's life since before he was, and he's his wife's first love. Allegedly, this ex of hers moved to a new state a decade ago, but then moved home a year ago and contacted his wife.

"...They've been meeting every Tuesday for dinner for 8 MONTHS. She swears nothing physical happened. Says they're 'just talking,' and she needed someone who 'knew her before she was a wife and mom,'" he said.

"That she felt like she was disappearing, and he reminded her [of] who she used to be. Says it's not an affair, it's friendship, but she knew I wouldn't understand, so she lied about therapy."

"I'm like you've been lying to my face every single week for EIGHT MONTHS while I'm home doing bedtime alone and you want me to believe nothing happened??"

His wife began sobbing and insisted she never so much as kissed her ex. She's sticking to the story that all they do is chit-chat over dinner, and that's it.

His wife claimed that she was going to tell him the truth someday, while stating she is only in love with him and she just wanted some time apart from their family to feel like herself again.

There is a piece of him that believes his wife's side of the story, since their marriage has been amazing, and his wife is not a habitual liar.

But then there's a piece of him who literally cannot believe his wife would do such a thing. It's pretty extreme to lie about therapy for months on end and secretly have dinner with your ex instead in an effort to reclaim your sense of identity.

This points to a consistent, deliberate intention to deceive him, and usually, that's accompanied by truths nobody wants to hear (like, well, cheating).

"She wants to go to actual couples therapy now. Says she'll cut contact with him completely, already told him she won't see him again. But I don't know if I can even look at her," he continued.

"My brother says emotional cheating = lawyer up. My friend says if nothing physical happened, maybe it's salvageable. I don't even know where to start. What would you do in my position?"

"How do I figure out if she's telling the truth? And even if nothing physical happened, can you come back from this level of deception?"

At a minimum, his wife was conducting an emotional affair. At a minimum. And according to The Marriage Restoration Project, studies point to 50 to 70% of emotional affairs turning physical. I don't like those odds, friends!

I'm convinced his wife was doing more than chatting with her ex. She definitely was up to no good if she chose to lie to his face about her therapy sessions.

I think the best way he can process this is to ask for a separation and prepare for a divorce, because who wants to remain married to a liar and a cheater? How can you ever trust someone like this again?

What advice do you have for him, and do you believe his wife when she promises she wasn't cheating with her ex?

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