There is nothing more insulting than a partner who ignores your pleas for years, only to see the light the second a stranger with a degree says the exact same thing.
His wife’s been using her paycheck as a get-out-of-parenting-free card, and, in light of her falling for another man, they’ve been going to couples counseling.
While their therapist is clearly on his side, he’s ready to file for divorce because he’s no longer convinced that saving their marriage is a viable option.
This 31-year-old man and his 28-year-old wife have spent seven years with one another, and they have a three-year-old son together.
After his wife gave birth, he became a stay-at-home dad, as his wife was the breadwinner and daycare was unaffordable for them. He enjoyed staying home with his son, and he then got a part-time job to make a bit of extra money.
Four months ago, his wife blindsided him by saying she was considering a divorce, as she was attracted to another man.
“When she told me it hurt a lot. I was working whenever I had free time, and was the only one who ever really cleaned the house,” he explained.
“So maybe I was neglecting her in some way with how little time I had between work, cleaning, and taking care of our child. We decided to try couples counseling and see if that would help.”
“While we were waiting for this to happen, she continued to hang out and spend time with the person she was attracted to, even after I told her how it doesn’t make me feel good that she chooses to spend time with this guy when we already have so little time together.”
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He didn’t say any more and patiently waited for their first appointment with their therapist. On the day of their appointment, they discussed the dynamics at home and how he had to do all of the housework while his wife simply brought in the money.
He asked his wife to help him with cleaning and childcare, and he also requested that she quit seeing this other man in order to save their marriage.
She appeared to be open to his feedback, and following the appointment, his wife began pitching in around the house. He felt less burdened and as if they were re-engaging in their relationship.
What he found the most upsettting is that what their therapist said was verbatim what he brought up to his wife in the past. He has been pleading with his wife for help, and she simply would go to sleep instead of hearing him out or, you know, helping.
“I feel like I gave everything to this relationship and family so we could all be happy. Meaning no disrespect to the councilor that helped us, but why does she only listen to a stranger we just met and not me when I been saying it for several years?” he wondered.
“I am not sure if this would even be a genuine fix to our relationship, or [if it’s] just something that will be temporary and go back to how it was in a couple [of] weeks.”
He’s left feeling like he just wants to give in and get a divorce like his wife originally requested.
The end result for couples counseling isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes the bottom line is that a couple will be better off without one another.
He was being beyond fair to agree to counseling in light of his wife catching feelings for another man, and that is the real nail in the coffin for me.
I do think if their issues were solely related to the division of household chores and childcare, they could fix their marriage. But since his wife has set her sights on another man, I do think he’s right to end their marriage.
What do you think? Should he keep trying to save his marriage or grant his wife the divorce she originally asked for?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
