There is a glaring irony in a woman who refuses to divorce her husband because of the security and money he provides, while simultaneously accusing her younger affair partner of using her for money.
This 24-year-old man signed up for a secret dating app and matched with a 56-year-old woman named Vanessa five months ago. From the beginning, Vanessa put all of her cards on the table.
She said she is married, but her husband is virtually never at home with her. She was looking for a guy to have a bit of fun with, but was not interested in a relationship.
Vanessa said she would buy him nice things and give him money in exchange for his company and hooking up with her.
“We both knew what we were getting into with the relationship that it was, for fun, and that the casual relationship was not going to turn into anything more,” he explained.
“It was really good for a while. We would have dinners, go on weekend trips that she paid for, and she would give me money to help with my rent and school fees. I never asked her for more money than what she was willing to give me.”
“I never sent her messages when I knew she was with her family, I never put anything about us on [social] media, and I kept everything quiet. The weekend trips were something I really looked forward to, and the money she gave me was a help.”
“I made sure to respect her situation with her family, and I never did anything to upset her. I was happy with what she was willing to give me.”
But two months ago, Vanessa changed. Without warning, she asked him to spend every single weekend with her and demanded that he delete Tinder.
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Things got strange, and everything Vanessa was saying to him didn’t really add up. Vanessa claimed that her husband was seeing a woman and basically said she was looking to open up her marriage.
Vanessa mentioned she didn’t want a divorce because her marriage provided her with stability and cash. But the weirdest part of this all was that Vanessa promised to give him $5,000 a month and pay for the next year of college if he said yes to being in a committed relationship with her.
“I told her no. I do not want to be someone’s secret serious boyfriend when she is still married to her husband. I do not want that kind of mess in my life, especially now that I am trying to focus on studying and finishing school,” he added.
“She did not take it well. Said that I used her for her money, and now I was throwing her away. I just wanted to get out of there and be done with the thing. I did not want to see her messages or hear her voice anymore.”
“My friend says I should have been nicer and told her I was not interested in a way. They think I am a bad person for taking her money and then stopping contact when she wanted a relationship with me.”
He’s confused because he was candid from the start about what he was expecting out of his relationship with Vanessa, and he never promised that things would trend in a committed direction.
When Vanessa wanted more out of him, he politely called their arrangement off because he already made it clear to her that he was not seeking a committed relationship.
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for dumping Vanessa after she pushed him for more than he was willing to give her.
I think it sounds like Vanessa caught feelings for him, and she forgot this was nothing more than a mutually beneficial arrangement.
At the end of the day, they both used one another and got what they wanted. I don’t think he was wrong for no longer wanting to see Vanessa, but I do think it was wrong to willingly be her affair partner for money.
What do you think? Can you use someone who clearly offered you money in exchange for a service?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
