Wanting to help your loved ones out makes sense, but how would you feel if your spouse wanted to strain you financially in order to support their pregnant sister and unborn baby?
This 33-year-old man and his 31-year-old wife have a son, and they are pregnant with their second child. Now, his wife’s 26-year-old sister just announced that she’s pregnant with her first, and his wife jumped in to promise her that they would help her with everything. Including giving her money.
His wife didn’t talk about this with him, and was blindsided when he refused to financially support her pregnant sister and baby. His wife argued that since her sister needs help, he should do it because this is also his family.
What this means is that it’s going to fall on him to literally support his wife’s sister and child, because his wife does not work or bring in any money of her own.
“My wife wanted to be a SAHM when she gave birth to our son, and she’s planning to stay home until both our sons are older and more established in school,” he explained.
“So in reality, I’m expected to work to provide for not just our family but her sister’s family too. Her sister is single, doesn’t know who the father is, and got pregnant because she wanted to have a child who would be close in age to their cousins.”
“She was hooking up with random men at clubs to get pregnant. I think it’s so reckless, but the whole concept screams this won’t be a one-time thing, because what comes next is her baby will need a sibling, and the same thing will happen.”
His wife is still failing to see how much of a burden this is going to be on him, and she thinks they can just buy diapers for their newborn and another pack for her sister at the same time.
His wife mentioned they can give their baby furniture to her sister and buy brand-new items for their own baby. His wife doesn’t seem to comprehend how much money this will cost.
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He tried to compromise and said they could buy presents for when his wife’s sister has her baby shower, but he clarified that he’s not going to pay for every single thing her sister and baby need.
His wife complained that he would pitch in if this was his sister they were talking about, but he said absolutely not; he would still not want to give his money away.
He doesn’t find it fair that he should be the breadwinner for his wife’s sister, considering she had the bright idea to get knocked up with no money to support a baby.
“My wife thinks it’s selfish of me, and I think she’s risking financial ruin for us. Babies are expensive, and we have our second on the way,” he added.
“We’re a one-income family, which works for us in our own circumstances, but not in the circumstances where we have an additional child in another house to support.”
“My wife’s sister has jumped in on several occasions since this argument started, and she told me I shouldn’t judge her for wanting a family of her own and that she thought we were closer than this, and I’m making her feel like I want to see her and her baby punished because she’s a single mom.”
What’s irritating him even further is that his wife’s sister has already started putting together a list of what she wants for her baby, and none of it is rational; it’s all designer items.
Not a single thing his wife’s sister would like to get for her baby is in a considerate price range, and his wife doesn’t see why this is a problem.
Since he’s expected to be on the hook for buying everything, he believes his wife’s sister is being greedy, and the fighting over it is tearing him and his wife apart. His wife is uninterested in going to counseling with him to figure this out.
“She’s also determined we will pay, but I have been refusing to spend the money on her sister and her sister’s baby,” he continued.
He’s left wondering if he’s wrong for not wanting to financially support his wife’s sister and baby.
You might think this is harsh, but he should tell his wife she can go get a job and give her sister that money if she wants to help her that badly. Problem solved, crisis averted.
It’s also time for separate bank accounts so he can prevent his wife from dipping into their money and taking out whatever she wants for her sister, at the expense of their family.
I’m astounded that his wife is being so delusional. It might help if he calculates how much it will cost to buy everything on his wife’s sister’s wish list, plus how much childcare will cost, and then throws in what else the baby will need, like clothes, formula, etc.
If his wife is confronted with a concrete number, that might help her get a reality check. Or a job.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
