It’s completely reasonable to feel sidelined if your parent enters a new relationship and gets wrapped up in everything their partner’s kids are doing.
For her, her dad’s investment in his girlfriend’s children has come at the cost of their own bond. She finally called him out, but her dad didn’t exactly take it well.
Back when this 23-year-old girl was 14, her mom and dad got divorced. Approximately a year ago, her dad started dating another woman, and she did her best to support her dad in his new relationship.
Her dad’s new girlfriend is normal, and she doesn’t dislike her. However, this woman has three children, who are 15, 11, and 8, and all her dad does now is talk about these kids nonstop.
“Every single call turns into a 20-minute update about what her youngest said at school or how the teenager made the varsity team. Like, genuinely, every conversation,” she explained.
“Last month, I visited him for the weekend, and I think he mentioned my name maybe twice the whole time. He kept pulling out his phone to show me videos of her kids doing random stuff.”
“At some point, he showed me a school play video that was 40 minutes long and seemed genuinely confused when I said I had to go to bed.”
Two weeks ago, she piped up and said to her dad that while she’s thrilled he has a girlfriend, when she calls him on the phone, she just wants to speak to him, not get a billion notes on how the girlfriend’s kids are doing.
She’s only met these kids four times, by the way, and her honesty offended her dad. He fell silent before replying that he figured she would want to be included in his new life.
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She let her dad know that she does want to be a part of his life, but that used to mean he would inquire about her job or ask about updates from her end.
He no longer wants to know about how her life is going, and it’s like he’s neglecting her in favor of these new kids.
“He hasn’t called since, and my stepmom ([my] mom’s side) thinks I was harsh. But like I genuinely cannot remember the last time my dad asked me how I was doing and actually waited for the answer. Am I wrong for saying something?” she wondered.
Well, we can’t go through life keeping our feelings to ourselves, especially if we are hurt by something our parents are doing, so she did the right thing by addressing her emotions, even if her dad wasn’t ready to hear about it.
Her dad’s obsession with his girlfriend’s kids is at the expense of the relationship they used to have, and it’s sad. Hopefully, her dad will come to his senses and see how unfair he’s being.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
