How would you feel if you found out through reading a card of all things that your partner used to be engaged to their best friend, yet they never told you about it?
This 25-year-old woman was at her 25-year-old boyfriend’s house recently and spotted a bunch of cards displayed on his mantle. Now, her loved ones always keep cards up in their homes from birthdays and holidays, and their contents are not exactly a private matter because they’re out in the open.
While over at her boyfriend’s place, she picked up a birthday card that he had out on display along with some other cards, and she opened it up.
She wasn’t trying to snoop or anything; she was just curious, and what she saw inside the card was shocking and way more private than she bargained for.
The card was from her boyfriend’s female best friend and roommate, and inside it said that this woman was excited to get to marry him!
She learned from the card that her boyfriend’s female best friend is actually his ex-fiancée, and he still lives with her!
So, the entire time she’s been with her boyfriend, she’s been jealous of his extremely close relationship with his bestie, and after reading the card, she’s even more suspicious of their relationship, given the fact that they were engaged last year.
She has previously spoken to her boyfriend about feeling like she’s the third wheel between him and his best friend. She does see her boyfriend’s best friend on a daily basis, as they are roommates, but she wishes her boyfriend told her that they were about to get married.
He did keep that from her, though he did mention that he was engaged, but it got called off two months before she met him. She just had no clue who his ex-fiancée was.
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She finally understands why everyone assumes her boyfriend and his best friend are together…I mean, they came close to tying the knot.
“…They have an incredibly odd friendship, to the point where literally everyone thinks they’re married. His friends and family don’t even know about me (which hurts). When he travels to see family, she goes with. When she goes to see her family, he goes with,” she said.
“They act married. Live together, calendar plan together, travel together. He picks her up from work every single day (and has picked me up from work twice in a year). At night, they curl up under a blanket together and watch films. Even when we’re all together, they’ll have their hands on each other’s laps.”
“I knew my partner had a five-year relationship that ended with an engagement being called off. I was told the best friend is currently in a long-term relationship with a long, messy breakup.”
Anyway, she did disclose to her boyfriend that she knows about his secret, and he said he found it repulsive that she went through his personal things like that.
Wow, right? He even accused her of destroying his trust and that of his best friend, who penned the card in the first place. Her boyfriend chastised her for digging through his private things.
Attempting to defend herself, she relayed to her boyfriend that she wasn’t aware that a birthday card sitting out there in the open was private, and that as soon as she knew what the card said inside, she confessed to him, as she felt terrible.
Her boyfriend doesn’t care about that and thinks she’s in the wrong.
“He says he doesn’t know how to build a life with someone who has no respect for boundaries of privacy. He says he wants to, but doesn’t know how. How can I help him see that it was an honest mistake and that we can still trust each other?” she wondered.
I mean, her boyfriend is insane for trying to spin the situation and make her feel bad when he’s the one who kept his former romantic relationship with his best friend hidden from her.
Honestly, I’m afraid it sounds like he’s still hooking up with his best friend or, at the very least, still has feelings for her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
