We are often conditioned to ignore our gut feelings to avoid being rude, but in parenting, sometimes keeping your child safe means you can’t be polite.
This mom has a 13-year-old daughter named Elena, and Elena has a new friend at school named Kennedy. Elena doesn’t have the biggest group of friends, but the ones she does have enjoy hanging out at their place, and Elena rarely goes to the houses of her friends.
Her house is so popular that she’s actually hosted birthday sleepovers for some of Elena’s friends. Several weeks ago, Elena asked if she could sleep over at Kennedy’s house, as there was a family party the following day that she was invited to.
She agreed, as she knows Kennedy’s mom because she works at the school office, and when Kennedy’s mom has stopped at her house to pick up Kennedy, she’s always been nice. As soon as she arrived at Kennedy’s house with Elena, she got a bad feeling.
“Kennedy’s stepdad is the one who answered the door, and I’m not kidding when I say I have never felt so immediately disturbed by a person,” she said.
“I can’t even explain why. My stomach just lurched. I immediately felt like I needed to hold some kind of conversation with him so that I could at least get a better read on him.”
“I made some small talk on the porch, during which he proceeded to open an alcoholic drink, and flirtatiously [said that he could] ‘not believe’ I was old enough to have a teenage daughter (after asking me twice how old she was and telling me how similar we look).”
He then made Kennedy change into different clothes since she was wearing shorts, which she found weird. Kennedy’s mom arrived back home while she was still sitting on the porch with the stepdad, which helped her feel a bit less uneasy.
However, as soon as she returned home, she informed her husband that he had to get Elena because she didnt’t want her sleeping over.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
She crafted an excuse and told Kennedy’s family that it had slipped their mind that they had something to do the next day, and they scooped Elena up prior to dinnertime.
“I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy or judges me for not letting her stay on no evidence. I grew up where if you had a feeling, you followed it. My husband agreed with me that Elena wouldn’t be going over there again,” she added.
“So last week, I was at school pick up and bumped into the mom of one of Elena’s other friends, who I’m casual friends with (mom friends, basically). She mentioned she hadn’t seen Elena at Kennedy’s that Sunday at the party (Kennedy had invited this other girl to the Sunday party but not the sleepover).”
“I said no, Elena hadn’t slept over. My friend asked if it was because of anything in particular, and I was honest and said I just don’t want her going over there because the stepdad gives me the creeps.”
She filled her friend in on the exchange she had with Kennedy’s stepdad, and her friend thanked her for her honesty and agreed she would have handled the situation in the same way.
Yesterday, while she was at the school picking Elena up, Kennedy’s mom walked outside and yelled at her for telling that other mom that she’s not allowing Elena to come over to their house because of her husband.
Kennedy’s mom said she knew it was her spreading rumors, since she was the one mom who had gotten to meet her husband. Kennedy’s mom stated she knew she had lied to get Elena early from the sleepover.
“She accused me of being a snob because Kennedy is at the school on free tuition (which she gets because her mom works there) and of judging her family based on where they live,” she continued.
“None of that is true, but there was no convincing her. I guess I didn’t adequately defend myself because firstly, I was in public and didn’t want a scene, and [secondly], because being a snob probably sounded better than ‘your husband seems predatory.'”
“She then said that I was isolating Kennedy by poisoning the other mom. That, I’m not sure I can even say is untrue. But I would want another mom to tell me. You can do what you want with the information, but if I had never met the stepdad and someone else felt as uncomfortable as I felt, I would want them to let me know.”
And that is the only reason why she said something to the other mom. She was trying to protect her own daughter and this other mom’s too.
Kennedy’s mom clearly felt humiliated, and she knows she doesn’t have proof of her husband doing anything bad, so she’s left wondering if she owes these people an apology.
I mean, Kennedy’s stepdad did act like a creep, and she should tell Kennedy’s mom exactly what he said and did to clarify why she felt so uncomfortable. It’s not too late for her to reach out and do that.
What Kennedy’s mom does with that info is up to her, but I really can’t get over how inappropriate and strange this guy acted when meeting her and Elena for the first time.
She was right to trust her gut, because it was not a normal interaction.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
