Closure doesn’t always look the way you think it will. Sometimes you get it by saying your piece. Sometimes you get it by deciding someone no longer deserves to hear what you have to say.
She had a relationship that unexpectedly ended in a heartbreaking manner, and just when she finally started to move on, her ex showed up with flowers.
This 27-year-old woman terminated a pregnancy a year ago, and while she was undergoing the procedure, her 34-year-old boyfriend totally abandoned her.
“We were together for 6 years…not only did he leave, but he was also cheating on me [at the] same time. At one point, I ended up speaking to the other woman (F/25),” she explained.
“I didn’t even know her, and instead of being respectful or neutral, she was extremely insensitive. She even sent me a mental health crisis number and [was] relaying things he allegedly said about me, like that he only talked to me because she rejected him.”
“It felt very unnecessary and, honestly, humiliating given the situation I was in. The last thing I told her was: ‘You cannot build a house on a woman’s tears.’ Then I blocked her and moved on.”
Obviously, she thought she wouldn’t hear from her now ex-boyfriend again after what he cruelly did to her, but she was wrong. She recently celebrated her birthday, and her ex sent her flowers, along with a handwritten note!
The note basically said her ex hoped she found happiness and peace, and mentioned she will always hold an incredibly meaningful place in his heart.
He insisted that he valued the love that they had, and then he ended the note by basically alluding to having another shot at getting back together with her.
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“No pressure. Just wishing you a beautiful day and hoping life gives us a chance to reconnect in a good way. Wishing you the best always,” he wrote to wrap up the message.
While she’s leaning towards not responding and staying out of the mess that he’s made, she feels so hurt still by how the other woman acted towards her.
So, she really would like to send the other woman a photo of the flowers and rub it in her face instead of keeping it to herself. By the way, there’s no chance of her uttering a word to her ex, since he no longer deserves her.
“But I’m struggling with whether reaching out to her is getting closure…or just dragging myself back into something I’ve been trying to leave in the past,” she continued.
“Would I be wrong to message her the flowers, or is it better to leave it alone completely? Be honest.”
The older I get, the more I believe in not having the last word, because it’s more important to live your life in a way that won’t unnecessarily stress you out, and getting into it with people inevitably causes anxiety.
She should toss the flowers in the garbage and not say anything to her ex or the girl he left her for, because it will not change the outcome.
Why do this girl a favor and prove to her that her ex is horrible? She can figure that out on her own without any help.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
