What would you do if you ran into the one who got away at your sister’s wedding, only to learn that they’re completely miserable without you, even though they’re about to marry someone else?
Maybe it’s true that fiery true love never completely fades away; it just smolders and waits for a spark to reignite it.
On Saturday, this 30-year-old man’s sister got married. His 30-year-old ex was a guest because she’s currently engaged to a man related to his sister’s new husband.
He and his ex were high school sweethearts, and they split up, but later reconnected for a few months when they turned 19 before parting ways again.
When they were 23, his ex survived a terrible car accident, and doctors thought she would never walk again. Her boyfriend back then dumped her as soon as she was hospitalized, and they struck up a relationship after that.
“I spent over a year visiting her in the hospital and helping her through recovery after. We eventually split again when I was 27 because I wasn’t happy with how the relationship was going,” he explained.
Well, at the wedding, they ran into one another a handful of times. As midnight approached, he walked out to the garden to smoke, and his ex came out with drinks for them.
They sat in the garden for quite a long time, playing catch-up. They did go back to the wedding, only to return to the garden to have a deeper chat.
His ex revealed to him in that moment that her fiancé proposed to her nearly two years ago, but their relationship had stagnated ever since.
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His ex feels like she’s furniture, there to accessorize her fiancé’s life while he spends all of his time traveling and partying. His ex then confessed that he’s the only one who made her feel deeply loved.
“And honestly, I feel the same. I’ve dated around this past year, but I haven’t felt the same with anyone else so far. The tension peaked when she asked if I’d give ‘us’ another shot if she called off her engagement,” he explained.
“I loved her with all my heart, and even if we don’t get back together, it makes me sad to see her like this. She’s a brilliant person [who] had a difficult life.”
“Instinctively, I just wanted to hug her and kiss her, but I tried to act grown up, and I told her she needs to sort out her life first because I’m not interested in being a rebound or a ‘side guy.’ I admitted I still have feelings for her, but I’m also terrified because we’ve already failed twice before, and she understands but says she believes in us.”
The morning after the wedding, his ex sent him a text stating that she meant what she said back there in the garden, and she would like to talk to him again soon about potentially having another shot at love.
His mom, who always liked his ex, does think he should meet up with her to speak some more, and he shouldn’t worry that she’s still engaged.
He’s concerned that he’s being a total jerk by entertaining his ex’s offer to leave her man if he’s open to giving their connection another chance.
“I don’t want to break a future marriage or get people hurt because of me. [Am I wrong] for considering it? Will I ruin her life?” he wondered.
I think it’s a slippery slope to be talking to her while she’s still engaged. If she wants to call off her engagement and subsequent wedding, that’s on her.
He should give her space to do that and get it together before even giving his ex the time of day. She sounds pretty messy, and he needs to allow her the time to sort it out prior to dating her again.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
