I know quite a few people who have signed prenups, and they’re not altogether uncommon these days. Prenups are meant to protect both people in a marriage, and can serve as a pretty excellent insurance policy if you have a lot to lose.
This 29-year-old man and his 28-year-old fiancée are in the middle of completing their prenup, and his family is wildly upset over what’s included in it.
He’s been with his fiancée for the last five years, and they moved in with one another three years ago. There is no doubt in his mind that his fiancée is the woman for him, and she’s also his best friend, not only his soulmate.
He couldn’t picture his life without his fiancée in it. He proposed to her a year ago, and they’re going to begin planning their wedding shortly with the hopes of having it this fall.
He and his fiancée are currently working on a prenup; they have different lawyers, and they’re happy with how it’s shaping up. His 26-year-old sister recommended the lawyer who’s representing him and his interests, and so, his sister wanted an update.
Right now, he’s filled with regret for sharing details of the prenup, but his sister got the wrong idea and thought he was trying to dictate future child support.
Wanting to set the record straight, he informed his sister that she had miscalculated his intention, and he wasn’t trying to be unfair to his fiancée at all.
In fact, he’s offering his fiancée a significant sum of money to have his kids, and that’s what set his sister off. He was not expecting her to get upset, because his sister has two kids of her own; one she had with her ex-husband, and one is from her current husband.
His sister struggled with motherhood amid her divorce from her ex, so he anticipated that she would be supportive of his generosity in the prenup.
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“Long story short, she ended up telling my mom, and now both of my parents are blowing up my phone, insinuating (or flat out stating) that my fiancée is taking advantage of me and that I have to call off the engagement,” he explained.
He reminded his loved ones that he’s an adult who is aware of what he’s signing on for, and he would prefer that they keep their opinions to themselves. They didn’t listen to him and have been very vocal about how disapproving they are of his prenup.
“In [our prenup] as it stands right now, there’s a provision that allocates a 6-figure payout per child to my fiancée *if* we have biological children,” he added.
“To be clear, both of us are okay with not having biological kids or kids at all if that’s what we find most comfortable in our marriage. But because we’re not solidly child-free and sterilized either, we feel it’s prudent to have compensation for pregnancy and birth-related work incorporated into the prenup to cover our bases ahead of time.”
“The way my sister (a mom of 2 herself) reacted and told my parents threw me off guard, so I wanted to check if this was unconventional or if my family was nuts (they are). They are threatening to not come to the wedding at all if this is finalized.”
Is his prenup traditional? Probably not, but I think it’s incredibly generous. I do know many moms who have been wrecked financially after getting divorced, because they sacrificed their careers for their kids, and divorce doesn’t account for that.
He’s being extremely respectful of the woman he’s about to marry and their future with what he’s putting in the prenup. It’s unfortunate that his family can’t see this and that they are trying to make his fiancée out to be some kind of gold digger.
His mom and his sister especially should be applauding him for this decision instead of getting angry.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
