Nothing exposes the cracks in a relationship quite like meeting someone who makes you feel the way your partner used to. She was looking for a fun weekend away with her boyfriend and his friends, and somewhere between the chairlifts and the après ski, she caught feelings for someone she absolutely shouldn’t have.
Last weekend, this woman went on a ski trip along with her boyfriend and his entire group of friends. Many of these people she’s already met, but one man in particular was in attendance, and it was her first time being introduced to him.
She really hit it off with this guy, and they were laughing, joking, and even flirting. They even ragebaited one another, which she found hilarious.
It wasn’t all fun and games during the vacation; they had some deep moments as well, sprinkled in there among the laughter and lightheartedness.
“But we also had some really nice conversations on the lifts, about day-to-day life, therapy, hobbies, really anything that would come up,” she explained.
“After the first day, I noticed I felt so drawn to him. On the second day, I kept trying to get on the same lift as him, sit next to him if possible, sit close to him at lunch, so we could talk some more. He was hilarious and a very good snowboarder.”
“But he also made me feel good about myself, complimenting my skiing, among other things. At some point, he said something along the lines of ‘you are just full of surprises’. He said it so lovingly…It felt good to be seen and appreciated.”
And you know what magnified the effect her boyfriend’s friend had on her? The fact that she’s been in a rough spot in her relationship for quite a long time.
She and her boyfriend are struggling to communicate; they talk over one another, and they’re having a hard time listening when the other speaks.
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She does feel guilty that she caught feelings for her boyfriend’s friend out there on that mountain of snow, and she promises she would never end up cheating on her boyfriend.
She does wish she and her boyfriend were better at overcoming their issues, and falling for his friend is making her head spin.
She thinks she’s a jerk for cozying up to her boyfriend’s friend, and her boyfriend is a wonderful person who doesn’t deserve to have his girlfriend openly hitting on his friend.
“He is actually the only truly good man I have ever dated, even though we aren’t compatible right now in some ways. Why would I chase something so stupid and possibly hurt him along the way?” she wondered.
“Logically, I’m well aware that what I ‘feel’ for this man is just limerence. No way I could fall in love in a weekend, get to actually know him. I saw his best side and liked some parts. And I know this is a feeling I always have with something new that never lasts.”
“I don’t like the idea of me chasing something new and exciting. I would love to have a life partner, but that will be impossible if I keep giving in to impulse and imagination. But now I don’t know how to let it go and move on. I figured maybe writing it off would start the process.”
She’s not going to be spending time with her boyfriend’s friend in the near future, and she’s praying that it makes her snap out of it and quit thinking about him.
Then she can turn her attention to her boyfriend and get to the bottom of all their problems.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
