Marriage is meant to be a partnership, but some people have spouses who act like the only decisions worth making are the ones that benefit themselves and nobody else.
What would you do if your spouse told you they felt bored of you and your kids, and so they’re trying to decide if they still want to be married?
This 28-year-old woman has spent the last six years with her 28-year-old husband, and they have three kids together, but her husband has completely checked out to the point where she’s worried he’s about to leave.
“Life has been hard, [there have] been ups and downs of the pandemic and the rising economy, etc., but we have managed through all the rough patches together,” she explained.
“We get along nicely, rarely ever actually fight, only bickering as married people do. I stay home and take care of the household and the children. I make sure he has a nice warm meal when he gets home, and the house is always clean.”
On her husband’s days off, he still leaves all of the childcare to her to accomplish, while he doesn’t participate. She never thought it was strange until people began calling her husband out for failing to help.
Her husband used to excuse his hands-off approach by saying his job is so stressful, and it’s technically her job to raise their kids, so she thought it was normal, as she didn’t know any different.
However, she grew to begrudge her husband, as he started to leave her and the kids when he felt like it, so he could go out and party with his friends.
“I tried to tell him that it made me uncomfortable because he would come home in the mornings, but his excuse was, ‘If I don’t, I’ll be depressed, let me have some fun,’ so I immediately felt bad for trying to put a stop to it,” she added.
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The resentment built up as her husband continued to party on without giving her or the kids a second thought. Her husband’s out there having a blast while she’s stuck playing the adult.
She’s constantly alone and has nobody to speak to. She has had a tough time with her mental health, most likely due to all of this, but her husband didn’t care.
Recently, her husband confessed to her that he’s not sure he wants what they have anymore. He’s bored of her and their kids and believes he would prefer to be single, so he can be free to party without having to be tied down as a dad and a husband.
“I just don’t understand. He has everything a man could want. He has a beautiful family. A loyal wife. And yet the party/single scene is looking more appealing to him,” she said.
“I realized I have been chasing him when he should be chasing me. I have surrendered; whatever he chooses will go. But I hate that the second he’s not happy, he’s ready to destroy the relationship. He said he’s bored of the routine.”
“The routine is the backbone of raising three children. He finds it boring because he’s just a spectator and doesn’t help. Also, if he is saying I’m routine, then that’s because I literally don’t even have the time. He also never takes me out anywhere, so I can’t even be my own person.”
She’s given her husband everything, let go of her career in order to stay at home, and she’s sad that her husband is the one left with all of the power.
She’s waiting around for him to make a choice: be single or have a family. It has occurred to her that perhaps her husband has found another woman while out on the town, and that could be motivating his feelings to leave.
It makes my stomach drop knowing there’s such a power imbalance in her marriage. Her husband isn’t treating her like a partner or an equal.
I’m bewildered by her husband having three kids with her, only to turn around and say he might throw it all away. I think it will be easier in the end for her to leave him instead of allowing him to drag this out.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
