Most people return from an international vacation with a few souvenirs, some jet lag, and a camera roll full of memories. But for him, a casual holiday hookup abroad resulted in a life-altering reality check.
When an accidental pregnancy involves different countries, religions, and financial disparity, is it even possible to find a middle ground?
This 25-year-old guy went on vacation abroad recently. He ended up spending a week in a particular country and met a girl online while he was there.
“We slept together a few times, but I made it clear I wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship with her before we did anything,” he explained.
They were not conscientious about practicing safety while hooking up, but he thought it was fine since he never got any of his exes pregnant using the same method.
Two weeks ago, he got home from his vacation. But a bit less than a week ago, this girl took two pregnancy tests, and she’s six weeks pregnant with his baby.
He suggested terminating, which mortified her, since she’s very religious, and that’s not something she would ever consider. While he’s sympathetic to her position, he’s struggling with what she said after that.
“But she wants me to be a part of the child’s life, and while I kinda agree with her, I grew up without a father and said to myself years ago that I wouldn’t do that to my future child. This was so unexpected, and I didn’t want to be with this girl,” he added.
“I’m a 3rd year [college] student, and I still plan to finish my studies, so I can’t support the kid financially, but money isn’t an issue because she comes from a really wealthy family.”
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“She told her father a few days ago about the pregnancy and she said he planned on either buying a property in my city so we could stay together to raise this kid, or sending her to a different country if I don’t want to raise the kid because the country she is from heavily frowns upon children born out of wedlock and doesn’t allow interreligious marriage (we aren’t apart of the same religion).”
This girl is really putting the pressure on him to quickly figure out if he wants to be a dad and help her raise this child. If he doesn’t do that, she threatened to never let him see his child or find out where in the world they are.
He only found out about the pregnancy five days ago, so he asked for some time and space to consider his options, but every single day, she has been bombarding him with texts saying bye forever, and she’s done with him since her kid should have a dad.
While he is aware that this kid will have a nice life from a financial standpoint without him in it, it feels ethically wrong to abandon a child he did help make.
“I haven’t told my family (only one of my best friends knows) because this all sounds so outlandish, and honestly, my thoughts are a mess, and I find myself avoiding her messages,” he continued.
“I was hoping to get some advice from anyone who also had an unexpected pregnancy with someone they didn’t see themselves being with.”
It’s wild to me that some men don’t think about the fact that you can end up with a child after hooking up with a girl, but here we are, buddy.
If he wants to break the deadbeat dad example his own parent set for him, he needs to step up for this kid. I think he should let this girl move to his city (generous of her dad to offer this as a solution) and work on helping her raise this child.
No, he doesn’t have to marry the girl who is pregnant with his kid, but he does have to try to make things work with her on a co-parenting basis, at a minimum.
What do you think he should do?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
