Holding the key to someone’s survival, but being paralyzed by the fear of what you will need to sacrifice for them is a burden nobody should ever have to carry alone, let alone under the glare of a toxic family spotlight.
This 27-year-old man’s 56-year-old stepdad is currently in severe kidney failure and consequently needs a transplant. His stepdad’s family members are not a match, and so his mom urged him to get tested.
He agreed, although the risks of the procedure have been alarming for him to think about in the meantime. He was hoping that while waiting for the results, he would end up not be a match for his stepdad.
But when the results came back, it was concluded that he’s pretty much the only match his stepdad has available for a kidney transplant.
“Even though I’m afraid of the transplant, I was considering it for a while, as my stepdad is a great guy. He joined our family while I was in [high school] and took me [in] like his own,” he explained.
“When he married my mom, he told me that [he would] take care of my tuition and other living costs for me. I told my mom the results, but SPECIFICALLY asked her to keep it quiet for a few days so I could have some time to process it.”
“At the same time, I was also hoping another donor would come in to help out. Alas, literally the next day, the whole family was texting me and giving me their thanks already.”
Not wanting to give in to the pressure around him, he had to inform everyone that he’s not going through with donating a kidney to his stepdad.
His stepdad was truly wonderful about it and said he completely gets that he’s not interested in being a donor. The issue isn’t his stepdad, but it is his mom and his additional family members, because they all hit the roof and freaked out.
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His mom and other loved ones called him a bunch of awful names while reminding him that his stepdad is the only reason he hasn’t been out on the streets, left to fend for himself.
They are right about that, but he’s simply not ready to be a donor. It’s a really big ask.
“Also, it really left a bad taste in my mouth, how I feel like they just EXPECT me to do it as if it’s the easiest thing to do. While they don’t have that same pressure put upon them, as they’re all incompatible,” he continued.
“Anyways, I might still go back on my decision as I do have the time, but right now I’m just not sure.”
While the risks of being a donor are low, there are still a thing, so I get why he’s scared to do it. But the good news is there’s something called The National Kidney Registry (NKR) Voucher Program.
This is truly an incredible program that he should tell his mom and other family members about, because it removes the fact that they have to be a match for his stepdad.
This program allows anyone to donate a kidney to someone in need, and they then receive a voucher for a kidney that’s compatible with their loved one.
Meaning, his mom can donate a kidney to a stranger, and then a stranger will donate their kidney to his stepdad.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
