Imagine having a spouse who values the digital applause of strangers over the real world and who just can’t make meaningful memories or enjoy everyday moments unless they’re broadcast all over the internet.
How are you supposed to get through to your spouse when they accuse you of being a hater for wanting to live life without a smartphone screen between the two of you?
When this man’s wife first started filming content to post on social media, he enjoyed helping her. He’s really into tech, so assisting his wife with framing her videos perfectly was an exciting mission for him.
His wife’s content would garner a handful of likes, and she would be thrilled about it, which made him smile. He liked being the man behind the scenes who made her come across like a professional.
As his wife grew more successful, it felt like a team effort to achieve those wins. Then, three months ago, a video his wife made about home organization went viral, and she gained 50,000 followers in a matter of weeks.
“Now the fun is dead. My support has turned into an obligation, and I have been promoted to an unpaid production assistant in my own living room,” he explained.
“The line between our actual life and her content has completely dissolved. We went to the mountains last week for what was supposed to be a total detox trip. I was looking forward to some actual downtime away from screens.”
“Instead, I spent four hours on a trailhead holding a reflector and a portable mic because the lighting was perfect for some transition she wanted to film. I am standing there with a dead leg and a pack full of her outfit changes while she talks to her phone about the importance of disconnecting from the world. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.”
His wife was doing the exact opposite of unplugging from social media, and all she does is use their downtime for more views. His wife ruined the trip for him, and he hates that she’s constantly performing.
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He’s not even able to have coffee with her in the morning and have that be a small break from the world before the day begins, because his wife arranges their mugs perfectly to shoot content.
If he dares to sip his coffee before she’s finished filming, she shoots him daggers, like he just destroyed her multi-million dollar movie or something.
He wishes they could rewind to how it was before his wife became obsessed with how everything would look on social media.
“I am tired of seeing the world through the lens of a smartphone, and I am tired of being told to wait while she records the same intro for the tenth time because her hair didn’t flip the right way,” he added.
“I tried to tell her that I am reaching my limit, but she just threw my previous support back in my face. She said I was happy to help when it was small, so why am I being a hater now that it is actually working and she is getting brand deals?”
“It is not about her success. I am proud of her for building something. It is about the fact that I want a wife and not a brand manager who treats me like a prop. Our house feels like a warehouse for Amazon packages and ring lights. I just want to sit on the couch and watch a movie without being asked to move because I am blocking the aesthetic for her latest reel.”
This morning, he discovered a lapel microphone in their fruit bowl, making him feel even sadder. He’s not sure how to effectively communicate his feelings to his wife, as he’s afraid she will get defensive and treat him like he’s trying to clip her wings.
Wow, this makes me feel horrible for him! I would have a tough time being married to someone who prioritized their social media content above our marriage.
I think he really should just sit down with his wife, as uncomfortable as that will be, and outline his feelings to her and why he’s upset.
If she doesn’t take it well at all, then couples counseling could be a good idea, that way they have a neutral third-party to help them work through this.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
