They say comparison is the thief of joy, but social media is the megaphone that amplifies your deepest, darkest insecurities. When public admiration for your partner starts to feel like a threat to your sanity, what are you supposed to do?
This 28-year-old woman knows she sounds like someone you should hate for saying this, but her 32-year-old boyfriend is beyond handsome, and she’s beginning to feel insecure about her own appearance since people love comparing them.
They have been dating for the last year, and in the beginning, she didn’t view his hotness as an issue. However, people have been talking more and more about how handsome her boyfriend is, and now he has random girls following him on Instagram.
“He is not an influencer or anything, but he is a doctor, and he is always into fitness (like CrossFit, etc.). Lately, he was into Hyrox,” she explained.
“He won 1st place at a Hyrox race event, and he got posted somewhere after being the fastest finisher in a fitnessgram account. After that, TONS of people followed his Instagram (the girls and the gays) omg.”
“People also start commenting [on] how perfect [he is], how he must be so smart as a doctor, and [how] handsome [he is]. Now I always ask myself whether I’m good enough or attractive enough to be with him, because now I feel like people will think, how [did]…this mid…girl get such a hot BF.”
When she was younger, she struggled with her self-esteem, and after the whole Instagram fiasco, that certainly made her confidence take a hit.
She does adore her body and views herself as pretty nice, but she’s not a supermodel or a knockout, or someone who makes heads turn.
She and her boyfriend both have intense jobs. She’s a quant at a hedge fund, and her boyfriend is finishing up his surgical residency.
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Because of all that, it’s hard for them to find time to spend time with one another. They do not live together either, which limits their quality time.
“But he is still very sweet and kind, I’m scared one day he [will realize] he can do better. Especially later, when he finishes his residency and becomes a surgeon already, I believe more girls will chase him and thirst over him more,” she continued.
“As someone who struggles with anxiety, I don’t know how to not listen to other people, and I always think people must’ve [thought] he can do better and get someone as hot as him…”
“I feel like I’m the problem here, but I love my BF so much. He is the kindest man on earth, and I trust him with all my life. It just, I feel so ugly now…and I’m just scared one day he thinks he can do better…”
This smells like self-sabotage to me. It doesn’t matter what other people think and if they feel her boyfriend is out of her league; that means they’re just jealous that she’s with him and they’re not.
It’s really a gift to work on yourself to a point where the opinions of others don’t trip you up, and she needs to get on that, or I’m afraid she risks pushing her boyfriend away with her own nonsense. She’s right, she is the problem on this one.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
