How would you feel if your spouse left you after making false accusations, only to come crawling back a bit more than a year later?
This woman spent two decades with her husband, but a year and a half ago, he left her after making baseless accusations that she was a cheater and a liar.
She has never once lied to her husband, looked at another man, or been unfaithful to him. So she was blindsided when he announced he was out over things he had completely made up.
As soon as her husband let her know that he was done with her, he changed overnight into a lunatic. He threw things at her and broke them.
He woke her up in the middle of the night to argue. He yelled directly in her face and said he wished she were no longer alive. It was frightening.
“While all of this was going on, he was also contacting multiple women friends of his and [trash] talking me relentlessly with them, which made me feel incredibly betrayed by him and by them, as I also considered them to be friends,” she explained.
She did ask her husband to attend individual therapy as well as couples counseling, but he asserted that she was the issue, so he didn’t need help.
He eventually moved to a different state, and they made their divorce official. But all of that was hardly the first time her husband had hurt her feelings.
“He cheated on me about 6 years into our marriage during the hardest time of my life. My mom died unexpectedly, and 13 months later, my grandma died,” she said.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“I discovered [steamy] photos of him, not 20 minutes before my grandma passed, which left me devastated. I was deeply mourning my mom when my grandma fell ill, and the idea of him having cyber [relations] with an ex girlfriend during one of the most vulnerable times of my life still makes me cry.”
“I would have left him then, but [I] didn’t possess the emotional strength to do so. He wouldn’t go to marriage therapy then, and I ended up just swallowing my pain and moving forward. So for him to falsely accuse me of lying/cheating and walk out on our marriage when I was able to move forward when he actually cheated only poured salt in a gaping wound.”
So now, here they are, nearly two years later, and he recently reached out to her. Apparently, he’s unemployed (although he often didn’t feel like holding down a job while they were married), and his lease is about to expire.
He has no backup plan, other than moving back in with his mom and dad. He’s currently pleading with her to take him back so they can fix their relationship.
She has informed him that she no longer trusts him not to put her through the wringer again, and she called him out for devastating her.
She mentioned that unless he agrees to therapy, she doesn’t think they will manage to rebuild anything together. He did say he never meant to falsely accuse her of being a liar and a cheater, but that’s just not enough for her.
“In the same breath, he told me he still thinks I’m a liar and was unfaithful, but that he can forgive and forget. He went as far as to say that he doesn’t think I ever really loved him because if I did, I would welcome him back with open arms,” she continued.
“I’m still so hurt by him, but unfortunately, I still care about him. I’m steadfast in not taking him back or moving him back in, but my emotional health is suffering.”
“I am in therapy and have a great therapist, but I don’t know that there’s enough therapy in the world to prepare for this kind of thing. I’m sure some of you have gone through something similar, and hearing from you would be helpful.”
I think he has her number, knows she is super kind, and is preying on that. Why should she take him back? He’s not sorry in the least.
He sounds like he’s just using her to get a roof over his head. There’s nothing for her to gain by getting back together with such a mess of a man.
She should block him so he can no longer contact her and move on with her life.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
