Divorces pretty much always mean that a couple no longer wants to be together, especially in a romantic capacity. Otherwise, the marriage wouldn’t end.
How would you feel if your spouse pushed you for a divorce, only to turn around and say you can keep on dating them once it’s all over?
This 27-year-old woman has a husband who is a year older than her and is currently demanding a divorce. That’s not exactly surprising, as they have been struggling with their communication for a long time.
Whenever she and her husband get into a disagreement, it’s full of disparagement and volatility, always ending at an impasse, so there’s never a resolution.
They have been with one another for a decade and got married eight years ago. They share a toddler daughter.
“I ended up venting to an old guy friend via social media because of how disconnected I felt. He found out and immediately accused me of cheating,” she explained.
“I blocked the guy and stopped further communication. Fast forward a month after that, my husband brings up divorce, and I agree at first.”
She did request that her husband attend couples counseling with her, and her husband initially said yes to that. But as they were waiting for their first appointment, her husband said they should sleep in separate bedrooms.
She went along with it, and three days later, her husband got mad and accused her of not trying to save their marriage. He alleged that she wasn’t being loving with him.
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Her husband demanded that she leave their home, and she did as he asked. Two days after she moved out, she learned that her husband had allowed some random woman and her child to come to their house, and their daughter was with him at the time.
“He says they hung out for about 6 hours at a kid’s place. I was really hurt by this and even asked him why he thought it was okay to do that, and yet still bring her over to our home, too, without me present,” she added.
“He really refused to give me any type of answer that wasn’t ‘it’s not like that.’ He’s stuck on divorce, he was cold about the whole situation and wouldn’t offer me any reassurance, and kinda just kept telling me I shouldn’t care about it.”
“I did come back to the house now, but now he’s acting like he loves me and still has feelings, but still wants to divorce. He says he wants to continue to be boyfriend and girlfriend even if we will no longer be living together.”
She filled her therapist in on that, who is bewildered by what her husband is trying to gain here. Her therapist told her that if she says yes to dating her husband and accepting a role as his girlfriend, she’s bound to be one girl in a long line of other girls.
She’s struggling with understanding her husband and feels that he wants to be with her without having to actually commit to her.
As for why her husband is bent on getting a divorce, he thinks marriage is overwhelming for the two of them, and he has to grow up.
She’s left wondering if she’s wrong for feeling blindsided and suspicious.
Her husband is being shady! It sounds like he’s the one cheating on her, and I am willing to bet the woman he invited over while she wasn’t living at home is his affair partner.
Also, I’m siding with her therapist, and her husband will absolutely be out there sowing his wild oats, so if she says yes to dating him, she won’t be his only girlfriend. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
She should give her husband the divorce he wants, but find another man to have a relationship with.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
