If your spouse filed for divorce, blamed your marriage therapist, and then wrote you a letter throwing your flaws in your face, how would you feel?
This woman came close to leaving her husband if he didn’t say yes to attending therapy with her. He did agree to it, and she can tell their marriage therapist prefers her, as her husband is pretty toxic.
However, she didn’t think the favoritism was that terribly noticeable, and she thought their therapist was helping them fix their marriage.
A month ago, her husband announced that he was done with therapy, as he knew their therapist was biased against him. She threatened to divorce her husband if he refused to go, and she said they really needed the assistance.
Well, yesterday evening, her husband gave her a letter.
“(Me), I should rip the band-aid off right now. I have filed for divorce. For [the] last year in therapy, I have realized that I have been a bad husband to you. I was always defensive. It does make me sad to think how thoughtless I was sometimes. I treated you like I wouldn’t treat a stranger,” he wrote.
“I agreed to go to therapy because I love you and didn’t wanna lose you. I didn’t think much of it; it was a nuisance. But listening to you and how you felt made me feel very sad. It’s not an excuse, but I didn’t realize I was so wrong for so long.”
Her husband said that therapy makes him feel like a failure every single week. It leaves him depressed and hopeless when they come out of their sessions.
He outlined that the therapist doesn’t like him, and she’s full of contempt for him with every word she speaks to him. He added that he does not deserve the hate their therapist shows them, even though he did do wrong in their marriage.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
He reminded her that he went to therapy because he loved her, but he had only recently asked himself if he felt she was worth all of the effort.
“The answer is a big fat no. I am gonna be harsh here. You are not the prettiest, fittest, or nicest. You are a good mother, but not the best. You have lots of faults as well, and I never really cared because for me, divorce was never an option; I just accepted you,” he detailed.
“There is nothing about who you are that makes me wanna torture myself every week. I can’t name one thing. [The] only thing that made me go was my love for you, and that is not enough for me anymore. I have lots of toxic traits, and I am going to work on them myself.”
“I think I have made some progress. But I am not going back to that woman. Since that means divorce, I have decided to file for myself. I don’t regret going to therapy; it let me face my demons, and it was a catalyst to look at my marriage and you realistically. I was so blinded by my unwillingness to lose you that I never asked myself if what I am fighting for even makes sense for me.”
Her husband ended the letter by stating they should be coparents and have raised amazing kids, but he is not good enough to be her husband anymore, and she’s not good enough to be his wife.
She’s read the letter countless times since her husband handed it to her yesterday. She’s aware that she can be terse and that she’s not super nice.
She admits that she’s overweight and has a tough time caring for their kids on occasion. But if her husband had addressed all of this with her, she would have made an effort to change.
While therapy for them has been centered on her husband’s shortcomings, she didn’t say he couldn’t bring up the things he was unhappy with. She thinks her husband no longer felt she was worth it to him when she asked him for more in their marriage.
“I am willing to change the therapist now or stop going for some time. I am willing to show him that I can work on my side of the issues. But he said he already filed for divorce and just [doesn’t] wanna deal with more therapy or put any effort [into] me,” she continued.
“He said maybe after [the] divorce, in a few years, after we both have become worthy of each other, we can connect. That sounds stupid to me. Why not work on it now?”
Time to make sure she has a lawyer, because there is no coming back from the contents of that letter. I can’t believe that her husband called her ugly, fat, and said she’s not worth it for him.
His letter was full of disdain and, quite frankly, mean. This marriage has run its course.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
