Does it make you cruel to say no to someone who was never kind to you? Is it selfish to draw the line with someone you don’t have a relationship with, even when family tries to make you feel otherwise?
This 49-year-old woman and her 55-year-old ex-husband have two daughters together, who are 16 and 18. Her ex also has a daughter from a previous relationship, 29-year-old Mary, who has been nothing but a nightmare to them all.
Mary’s mom passed away, which resulted in a ton of trauma. She did her best to be sympathetic towards Mary while still with her ex, but she reached her limit and divorced him when her youngest daughter was two.
She and her ex did split custody, but then she was awarded full custody of the girls since Mary would scratch them and cover them with bruises.
Understandably, her daughters do not have a relationship with Mary, and after Mary moved away to go to college, their bond with her ex improved.
A couple of months ago, Mary got sick, and now she needs a new kidney in order to save her life. Her ex phoned her to see if she would be willing to allow him to test their daughters to see if they could give Mary a kidney.
She did allow that to move forward, and both of her daughters are a match for Mary. She informed her girls that they can say no, they’re not required to fork a kidney over to Mary simply because they’re matches for her.
“They told their dad that they didn’t want to give Mary their kidney, and they told me he yelled at them and scolded them about family helping family,” she explained.
“Their dad and his family [have] refused to talk to them, and some of their cousins [have] even texted them a screenshot of what their dad posted in a Facebook group. Which basically said something about having 2 heartless daughters and something about I’m evil for not teaching them that family helps family.”
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“Their dad texted me saying I need to force them to give Mary their kidney and that if they don’t, then [he] and his family will cut them off and out of the will, and he’s already started as he removed them from his phone plan and didn’t pay for their school’s tuition this month.”
Her husband is backing her up and thinks she shouldn’t make her daughters do anything they don’t want to do, but she’s worried her ex will continue to retaliate.
A kidney removal is an enormous surgery, and I’m surprised her teen girls would even be medically cleared to do that, since they’re pretty young.
Giving up a kidney is no small ask, and her ex is the worst for trying to force her to make her girls do that. If you don’t want to give an organ away freely, you should not be made to do it at all!
I think she should stand her ground and not let her girls cave to the pressure her ex is unfairly putting on them.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
