A 51-year-old guy whom TikToker Amanda (@mushlovejj) has been dating since October sent her a text message recently, saying that he loves her. She was surprised because he had never expressed anything close to love for her before.
She responded by pointing out how that seemed super nonchalant to send through text. He texted back, saying, “Oh, whoops. I didn’t mean to break the seal on the big L. I don’t necessarily mean romantically.”
He called her, and on the phone call, he was immediately defensive. She was just confused and wanted to clear the air, so she asked if he was saying he loved her.
That question led him to become angry for some reason. He told her that he did not love her and never wanted to speak to her again.
It was a major switch-up from the month before, when he was telling her that he wanted to be a safe space for her and that he really cared about her.
They have gone on a total of 11 dates since October and have still been getting to know each other. But she had been ready to dive into a mature conversation about feelings. Clearly, that didn’t happen here with this guy.
“I think me not immediately reciprocating, I don’t know what was happening with him, but he just completely defaulted to being defensive,” said Amanda.
“It went from an attempt at vulnerability and safe emotional disclosure to just complete shutdown defensiveness.”
The next morning, she reached out to him to discuss their phone call, but he simply said that he didn’t have time for it. He also rejected the idea of starting over and repairing the relationship.
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Now, Amanda is left feeling really puzzled. This experience was a first for her, and his behavior was not what she had expected from a middle-aged man.
In the comments section, several TikTok users believed that the text was supposed to have been sent to someone else or was some kind of manipulation tactic to be used against her.
They advised her to cut her losses and keep going forward because she had just dodged a bullet.
“That text message was meant for the girl he does routinely say I love you to,” stated one user.
“People have such a fear of rejection that they sabotage and ruin everything. That has nothing to do with you. That’s a man riddled [with] fear and insecurity,” commented someone else.
“Sounds like he wanted you to say it back so he could then start manipulating you because you ‘love him,'” suggested a third.
Now that he has shown his true colors, she doesn’t have to waste any more time on him and can move on to bigger and better things.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
