If you made a deal with your spouse prior to tying the knot that they would stay home and not have to work, so long as they managed the household, and they went back on that, how would you feel?
A year ago, this 40-year-old man got married to his 36-year-old wife following two years of dating, and they do not have children together.
His wife was married once before him, and she was a stay-at-home wife. After they began dating, his wife mentioned that she really liked staying home and not having a job, which he didn’t find problematic, under one condition.
“She said she was a good cook and ‘always stayed busy,’ and I said I was fine with it if the house was clean and I was well fed, then I was happy,” he explained.
“I’ve been a high earner for a while and have always been frugal. I’ve saved over 50% of my income since I was 20 and now have a nice nest egg and a paid off house.”
Not too long ago, they took a vacation to Colombia and fell in love with the area. They made the choice to move there, as he has so much money saved up that he no longer has to work.
They can easily rent out his house in America, and the rental income, combined with his other assets, makes living easy. They have been in Colombia for the last two months, and his wife has completely quit cleaning their house there and cooking for him.
His wife says that food in their country is super cheap, so she doesn’t see why she has to cook when they could just eat out all the time.
“I told her that I preferred home-cooked meals and that if she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain and cooking and cleaning, that she’d need to get a job, and I could just hire a local to do it for $400/month or whatever,” he added.
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“She got really mad and started saying how could she get a job in a low-wage country, and I told her she could try to get one remotely, as I had, and she got even [madder].”
“I told her that we had a deal since the beginning, and if she didn’t like it, she could either get a job to contribute financially or she could step up and start cooking and cleaning.”
His wife is insisting that this isn’t fair since he gets to relax all day while she’s expected to clean and cook. He pointed out to his wife that they’re living on the money that he made before they got married, along with rental money from the house he purchased prior to their wedding.
He’s left wondering if he’s not being reasonable (and yes, he has a prenup).
This is definitely an interesting arrangement, but I do think that they had an equitable agreement with him providing money and her staying on top of the household responsibilities.
Cooking and cleaning for two people isn’t all that difficult, and I guess she wants to be permanently retired now, too, and has changed her mind, making her the unfair one.
What do you think?
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
