Sometimes karma has a strange sense of humor. Imagine having your boss tell you that it’s your fault your child has autism, only for him to be forced to live through the exact same nightmare he once used to humiliate you with.
This woman’s son has autism, and her husband walked out on them years ago. She works for an enormous company and has absolutely no support at home. So, she’s a single mom, all alone, juggling her career with a challenging child.
“Having a special needs child is not like having an ordinary kid. You can get a call any time from the school, he is having a crisis, and to pick him up, or you get late to work because he will not let you go,” she explained.
Luckily, her coworkers were quite sympathetic to her hardships, but then the general director of the company retired, and his replacement became a 41-year-old man who wasn’t as nice.
This man was on a mission to show the board of the company that he was extremely efficient, so he started going to excessive lengths to prove this.
He cut their benefits, micromanaged everyone, and made it clear that she had to figure things out with her child or quit her job.
She never spoke to this man directly, but she did talk to her direct boss, and the boss above her own boss. She even went to HR, but after months of no resolution in sight, she knew she had to speak to him, so she set up a meeting. Instead of showing her sympathy, this man was cruel to her.
He sat there at his desk with an air of superiority, and she was completely exhausted, as she hadn’t slept well for several nights in a row.
“He was very rude and told me, ‘Your kid is my responsibility only if I fathered him. Did I father him?’ I was stupid enough to start crying and told him his father, my husband, divorced me, and this is why I have no help,” she added.
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“And he said, ‘Women’s intuition is never wrong strikes again.’ I was 25, and my son was 5. After almost an hour of talking and crying, he told me that he would allow me one day per week to work from home (remote work is not a thing here). I didn’t need that.”
“He didn’t understand. I needed to be allowed when my child is in crisis to leave and take him home (it happens maybe 3 times a month). I would work during the weekends for those hours. I was crying with my face in my hands, and he would be standing next to me with his fists in his pockets. He said maybe it’s my fault I have a kid with issues because I smoke.”
Back then, which was five years ago, this man was newly married, and his wife was pregnant. Well, this man’s wife gave birth to a daughter, who has since been diagnosed with autism.
His daughter’s symptoms mimic her son’s. She’s actually seen him out in public with his child, who was completely uncontrollable as she hit herself and him.
His daughter is nonverbal, as is her son, and is prone to horrific meltdowns when she is overstimulated. To this day, she’s not exactly close to him, but one of her upper managers is.
This woman told her that she caught him crying on a day when he was super tired because his daughter was throwing things at him, and his wife was in the hospital, so he had to deal with her kid all alone.
On Friday, she ran into him in the parking lot. He did look at her, but he remained silent. Later on, he sent her a message through Microsoft Teams. All he said was to please forgive him.
“I answered hours later (I considered not to) and said it’s ok. He asked me if I want to meet on Sunday because he needs some tips and tricks, as he is overwhelmed,” she continued.
“I need this job, and honestly, I was curious and agreed to. I actually thought his wife would be there, but she wasn’t. And we talked about his daughter, and he cried to me.”
“But at one point, he put his hand on my leg and knee, and at the end, he invited me over. It was 9 p.m. I said I am in a hurry. Should I do something about this? Was he trying to sleep with me, or [did] I overreact?”
It’s sad that her boss could only manage to show her some sympathy after he ended up in the same situation. She definitely should not agree to meet him alone anymore and keep her distance while remaining professional, so she doesn’t lose her job.
She could go to HR, but who knows if he will retaliate against her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
