Ah, unrequited love. This is actually quite a common phenomenon, and according to a study done in 1993 by psychologist Roy Baumeister, 98% of people have experienced it, with men being more likely to fall in love with an individual who doesn’t feel the same way about them.
So if your spouse confessed to you that they were in love with their coworker, ended your marriage over it, and then you found out their coworker doesn’t even want them, how would you feel?
This 30-year-old woman spent eight years married to her 33-year-old husband. Two weeks ago, her husband revealed to her that he had fallen in love with his 30-year-old female coworker.
“He told me he couldn’t imagine a life where he doesn’t try to make it work with her. He’s been telling me not to worry about her for a year, but whatever,” she explained.
Ever since her husband told her that, she’s started the separation process physically, financially, and legally. She’s also given her husband a timeline until she approaches their leasing office to end their rental agreement.
She has suggested that her husband can take over her half of the lease, find a roommate, or move out, as he cannot afford to pay the rent all alone.
“He told me he would be breaking the lease because his ‘affair’ partner doesn’t want to move in with him. I put affair in quotes because the way their conversation went makes me think their relationship doesn’t actually qualify for that,” she added.
“He asked her if she would move in with him, and it turns out, she just thought of him as a work flirt, and she freaked out at the idea of jumping into a living situation together, let alone an actual relationship.”
“So while my husband did develop feelings for another woman, it’s starting to seem like they hadn’t even discussed it before my husband told me he was in love with her and effectively ended our marriage.”
She’s wondering if this even qualifies as cheating, since her husband pretty much made this all up in his head. She’s also curious if what her husband did is something she can forgive, as nothing truly happened between him and his coworker.
And then there’s the part of her that believes she is still right to end the marriage over this.
I think this is worse than your average case of cheating, since her husband manufactured this love story in his mind, and it wasn’t grounded in reality.
I’m worried that if she does take him back and forgive him, it’s only a matter of time until he falls in love with another woman who he’s convinced shares the same feelings.
And then we can’t ignore that her husband did leave her for another woman, regardless of the circumstances. She should just laugh as she files for divorce. Good luck to her husband for being so ridiculous. He’s going to need it.
What do you think she should do?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
