If you were forced to make a difficult and controversial decision and your family shamed you for it instead of supporting you, how would you feel?
This 26-year-old woman and her 27-year-old boyfriend had precautions in place to prevent getting pregnant, as they both agreed not to have children.
However, she did end up getting pregnant regardless, and there was no doubt in her mind: she did not want this baby at all. She lives in Texas, so she felt stuck, especially since a woman had recently been followed with license plate reading cameras to investigate a pregnancy termination.
She ended up keeping the baby because of this, and the pressure her family put on her. Her boyfriend was supportive, and they resolved to do a closed adoption after the baby was born.
She and her boyfriend absolutely do not want the baby to contact them for the rest of their lives, and they were hoping the adoption they picked would help facilitate that.
“I did not tell my family, and I came home without the infant; they were put up for fostering and adoption. We left medical records, and that’s it…,” she explained.
Her family is furious with her, but they are not trying to track the baby down since she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with being a mom.
Additionally, she is not giving her family any information to aid them in finding the baby, because that’s not what she wants either.
Her family is calling her heartless. They’re mad that she has no desire to be in her baby’s life and will not be giving them anything beyond medical records.
“We live a good life outside of this, and I will not be involving the child in the future. If they reach out, I am declining contact, as is my partner,” she added.
“My family and some friends think I am selfish and cruel that in the future I will not be speaking to this child, that I will not be leaving anything to this child, that I ‘deprived them of their true family.’ They think I am horrible because we are decently well off because we work hard, and I should care more and I can spare more.”
She doesn’t see how she was wrong to give her baby up, as she didn’t want them in the first place. The only reason she didn’t terminate them is mainly due to the law in her state and her fear of being reported or followed for doing anything.
She has missed out on work because of the baby, and she was unable to seek help in another state. She feels like she could have lost her entire career as well.
“I have lost months of my life, my physical and mental health, my body. I do not want to sacrifice further…again, I just feel like I gave up enough. They get to have a life, and I get to have my life, and they just don’t need to be part of the other,” she concluded.
She’s still left wondering if she’s a jerk for wanting nothing to do with the baby she gave birth to.
Look, being a parent is not for everyone, and she made an incredibly responsible decision. I also can’t imagine anything sadder than growing up as a child with parents who don’t want you at all, and she saved her baby from that fate.
It’s really not her family’s business, and they shouldn’t be so involved. I think it’s best for her to cut contact with them while this dies down, because having them rag on her for making the best choice for herself is not helping her mental health here.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
