When a teenager intentionally wrecks a hotel room out of pure rage, is making him sell his prized possessions to cover the bill a great way to teach accountability?
This woman has a 15-year-old son who punched a hole in their hotel room wall on purpose while they were there for a trip over the weekend.
Now, this was absolutely not an accident by any means. Her son punched the wall because he was angry. Understandably, the hotel is making her pay for the damages, but she does not yet know what the total amount will be, as they are getting an estimate for what it will cost to repair.
“My plan is to sell some of his valuables to pay for the damage. He has an Xbox Series S, a fairly expensive phone, a newer TV, a bike, and a few other things,” she explained.
“The idea isn’t to profit or take everything just because I’m angry. The goal is to make him financially responsible for the damage he caused instead of me simply absorbing the cost. His dad thinks this is ‘mean’ and says I’m going too far. I disagree.”
“My view is that if you’re old enough to intentionally damage someone else’s property, you’re old enough to experience real consequences. I also believe this is both restitution and punishment. Actions have consequences, and I don’t want him growing up thinking someone else will always pay for his mistakes.”
She admits her son needs help to address his anger, and he used to be in therapy when she was going through a custody battle with his dad, but her son ultimately felt that his therapist treated him like a problem, so he’s refusing to return to therapy.
She is truly curious if the punishment she’s doling out to her son is too cruel, and she’s not sure if making him sell his belongings to come up with the money to pay for the hotel room damage is a good consequence.
I do think her decision to force her son to sell his things to pay for what he did in the hotel is a fair consequence, and he’s certainly old enough to learn about how his behavior impacts those around him.
What I’m more alarmed about is his unaddressed anger problems. Look, therapy is like dating; often you have to try a few options before you find the best fit, so just because her son disliked the first therapist he saw doesn’t mean he will feel the same way about other ones.
She needs to get him back into therapy ASAP, and perhaps finding a play therapist who specializes in teens is a great place to start, as that will provide her son with something different, yet helpful.
And finally, she should make her son get a job to help teach him some responsibility, because he sounds like he’s an entitled little jerk.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
