He Refused To Take Care Of His Teen Sister With Cerebral Palsy And He’s Telling The Internet He Feels Like An “Evil Person” For Making This Choice
A 26-year-old man has a 13-year-old sister, Emma, and has Cerebral Palsy.
“She is such a sweet girl and her strength in spirit is seriously unmatched,” he explained. “My two parents took absolutely fantastic care of her and basically sacrificed everything to make sure Emma can have a fulfilling life.”
“Emmas case is on the more dramatic end of the spectrum so she needs not constant care, but pretty close to it.”
Sadly, last year his dad passed away very unexpectedly, leaving just his mom to be the one to take care of Emma, and his mom’s life revolves around this.
They don’t have any other people in their family that can help his mom with Emma’s care.
Unfortunately, his mom was diagnosed this summer with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and she does not have much time left.
“Yesterday, barring a miracle was our last Thanksgiving together,” he said. “We tried our best to enjoy what time we have left together and I am so grateful she is my mom.”
“The only thing that sadly soured the evening was she wanted to have a conversation about who would be taking care of Emma when she passed.”
He had a very long conversation with his mom about this and brought up his concerns that he really cannot realistically care for Emma.
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He told his mom they need to figure out the best idea for Emma’s care since he can’t be expected to take it on, and he suggested a “care home.”
Emma was wildly upset to hear that he can’t care for her, and she pleaded with him to change his mind.
The reality is, he accepted a job offer that will require him to travel frequently, and he can’t maintain the life he wants to have while also having to be burdened with Emma’s care.
His mom began crying when he made it clear what his choice was, and his mom begged him to change his entire life for his sister.
“I feel like an evil person and the worst brother on earth for this decision, but I only have one life and my dreams are just on the horizon,” he continued.
“I really hope this conversation isn’t brought upon again at Christmas because I will break down.”
The last few years have been awfully hard for him, and the next few months will be as well.
He thinks this new job he accepted is the path for him to have everything he wants career-wise, and being Emma’s caregiver will take all of that away from him.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“First off, condolences all around, and you and your sister and mom are all in tough situations. But I think you’re right, it’s going to be most feasible for you to find an alternative solution than becoming her full-time caretaker.”
“But you still need to put in work to ensure she’s taken care of and getting the care she needs. In the long run that might be easier if you have a career and independent life.”
“You deserve to live your life and have your hopes and dreams too. Your parents should have dealt with this possibility a lot sooner because life just happens, as you can see… Also, to spring this on you is honestly unfair and not right.”
“Then add the stress of what it’s doing to your sister. They should have had a better plan for her future.”
“It’s unfortunate but you can only really be expected to make that kind of life-altering sacrifice for a child you chose to have, and most parents don’t manage that.”
“You, your mother, and your sister should try to sit down and find a care option that you can all live with if possible so your mother can have peace at the end of her life.”
“Fostering and kinship care are very romanticized in our culture. The truth is, it is hard af, and there are those who are gifted with the ability to do it and those who are not.”
“If someone is not gifted with this ability, the stress on them will build and build to a breaking point. At that point, no one wins. I think that it’s good that you know what you know about yourself NOW.”
“I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dad and the impending loss of your mom. I truly hope for a solution to this that blesses both you and your sister.”
“I encourage you though to take on some of the responsibility to research some of the other options and show and talk to Emma about the ones that look good.”
“Make a plan with her about how the two of you will stay in contact and try to make a visitation schedule both where you’ll come to the center AND where you will pull her out for a vacation.”
“She’s still a child and is fearful of being abandoned and forgotten. She’s probably picturing herself in the middle of a nursing home, alone with no friends.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.
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